glad

I feel like poetry this morning,I feel like music, I feel like love,sunshine despite the rain.
I don't know whats wrong with me I just feel high. I have not being paid a large some of money,I have not fallen in love,or bought something new and no I have not been smoking pot,I am just glad. Glad in my heart,glad in my soul despite all the madness and filth, I feel great. I feel like I can rule the world. I feel all warm and happy.
Everything in my life is not perfect and I know it will never be, nothing is meant to be perfect except God, but I am joyful and grateful for all I have good and bad,I could have had it worse but here I am strong and moving on. I am glad am alive and happy.

I wrote this poem a few days ago,I don't have a title for it but just tell me what you think.
It was just something from my imagination, I was watching MTV when writing it.
Here it is.

My feeble feet are weary from dancing,
All of a sudden the acoustic rhythm is annoying,
Even the samba drum has lost its appeal,
The music is no longer real to me,
I feel claustrophobic in this hall,
I see only shadows, the images are slowly fading.

No, lover, don't change the pace,
Fast or slow,
To me, all is the same.
Stop the pantomine!
Aren't you listening to me?
Lover, I don't feel like dancing anymore,
My waist is tired and my heels are sore,
The music has stopped,
No, nothing or you can turn it back on,
I have lost my passion, I have lost my shame,
No lover, don't change the number,
The music has stopped,
I just want to leave the hall.
to me all is the same.

Adventures of a Lagos commuter 2

On my way home from work one evening, I boarded a danfo bus,we were just 5 minutes into the journey when the youngman sitting beside me yelled "iso re, oti ba furo mi je!" (transl: a nail, a nail is up in my bottom)
I couldn't help it,I burst into laughter. He turns to me and says "Aunty mi o sere o!e fi owo si ori seat naa ke wo iso naa"(Transl: Aunty am not joking, please feel the seat for the nail), I try to stiffle my laughter and feel the nail, spreading my palm over the seat,I feel the 2" nail on the seat. I confirm to other laughing commuters"Iso wa nibe ni toto"(Transl: there is really a nail there).

" E pele" (transl: sorry),I greet the young man, who carefully sits back on the seat. He is in pain and declares to the conductor,"I am not paying anything!" The foolish conductor,complicates the issue and answers " aah,aah oga, ko si iso be lati aro"(Transl: there was no nail on that seat since morning!") everyone burst into laughter again,the youngman became furious "Kilo mean?" (transl: what do you mean?) "se idi mi ni iso ti jade ni?"(did the nail come out of my bottom?).

Everyone at the bus, started scolding and insulting the conductor,the conductor later apologised to the young man,"e ma binu sugbon ema lati san owo"(transl: please donot be angry,but you'll have to pay). "lai lai" (never) "se nitoripe idi mi oti bere si se eje" (is it because my buttom hasn't started bleeding") at this point, the driver had to intervene, he asked the young man not to pay.

The conductor started grumbling,but didnot utter a word to the man.

"olosi,fe gba owo,50 naira ko ran idi ka nipe iso ti ba furo mi je" he hissed ( foolish man, wants to collect money, what if the nail had ruined my bottom will 50 naira repair it! (50 was the bus fare). Eventually, the bus became quiet and we continued our journey peacefully.

lazy

This was sent to me by email this morning. I am busy and too lazy to write now,will put up a proper post later in the day.

AM THANKFUL: FOR THE WIFEWHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS FOR DINNER TONIGHT,BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBANDWHO IS ON THE SOFABEING A COUCH POTATO,BECAUSE HE IS
HOME WITH MEAND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.
FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHESBECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,NOT ON THE STREETS.
FOR THE TAXES I PAY BECAUSE IT MEANSI AM EMPLOYED .
FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.
FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME .
FOR ALL THE COMPLAININGI HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH..
FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKINGAND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION .
FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.
FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFFIN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH-EMAIL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVEFRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.
Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart! Life is beautiful. Life is good. Life is rewarding... So, Live it today

I no do

I no do o!

I say I no do,
Wahala wa nibe ni?
Abi?
Leave me!

The flashy car,
The fresh smelling mint,
The clean cut suit,
The fineboy look,
They are very tempting
But not enough to draw me to you,
You say I am a fool,
Many will die to be in my shoes,
So why do you still want me,
Abi ara adugbo e gbami!

Go and mother the chicks that want you,
I choose to remain a fool
Than be with you,
Shine shine bobo,
No substance,
So your daddy is the last king of scotland,
Unfortunately he didn't tell you
There's more to being a man,
Than your oversized wand,

I can't teach you,
I can't please you,
I don't want to be your flunkey,
Let be me in peace,
Abi?
I say I no do!
Move on to those that will have you,
Wahala wa nibe ni?
I no do!

Memories about me

Memories from my childhood.

I remember watching "Nightmare on Elm street"Part 4, I couldn't eat the afternnoon I watched it,the stew on my food looked like blood and at night I had horrible dreams about freddie.

I remember watching a film that had alot of break dance in it and practising the moves in my room. (in my head I can still do it,but the moves? get real!)

I remember listening to alot of music, from country to afrojuju
( I still love SSP, KSA, Lionel Richie &Micheal Jackson)

I remember composing and singing songs in the bathroom, I really wanted to be a musician. I remember telling my mom, the expression on her face was like "NEVER!"
(imagine, I would have been Nigeria's Carrie Underwood! by the way I still sing in my bathroom though)

I remember watching a film in my neighbour's house and then my mom came in during the love making scene.
(When I returned home she beat me silly)

I remember slapping my sister so hard,my finger made marks on her chubby cheeks, I remember mom scolding me and I kept insisting, it was a mistake.
(Gosh,i was just a bad bully)

I remember throwing down my uncle's tapes from our high rise balcony and helping him search for it when he returned in the evening.

I remember looking at the lagoon from my window view and wishing I could fish with the fishermen and sleep in their canoes.

I remember how mom tried to get me to eat snails, she spiced and fried them, but I just never like it. (still don't!)

I remember my mom mixing gin with our tea, on cold rainy mornings,I remember the warm tingling feeling in my chest. I remember my yellow popeye raincoat.

I remember reciting the memory verses that my sunday school teacher taught me in front of the church, I remember learning some more from the Doughnut man series.
(All the verses are still in my head)

I remember the big bucket of Icecream my mom used to buy for festive seasons and birthday parties,I remember stealing cakes with lots of icing, it gave me a bad tummy ache at night,I was just crying but couldnot confess.

I remember my mom teaching me fractions with biscuits and match sticks, I remember when she tried to explain a sum, 1 and a half plus 1 and the half, I answered confidently, 2 and 2 halfs(lol,olodo like me!)

I remember my first blood test,I was terribly trembling as blood spilled on my uniform, I screamed as loud as my lungs will allow me. (I still hate needles,bloodtest, hospitals,drugs!)

I remember my 1st radio advert, I never got tried of listening to it over and over,I dubbed it for my friends. I remember going for the recordings of tales by moonlight with Aunty Nkem of NTA (Any one know where she is?)

I remember so many things about me, some memories are bleak,others vivid. I thank God, I have all these memories to keep.

2 more days

2 more days to election, I have not made up my mind who I will vote for,
But I will. I hope I know where my voters' card is.

I going to be at work 2 morrow despite the hoilday.

Ajepako

Check fo my easter weekend update below this post.

Had a conversation with a friend over the holiday over ajebutter and aje paki,and then I saw this email that was sent to me sometime ago by a friend.

Ajebota vs Ajepaki

AJE BUTTER VERSUS AJE PAKI (CASSAVA).
> There was this guy I met whose name is Musibau. He claims to be an
> AJEBOTA, but after opening his eyes to some things, I realised him na
> AJEPAKI
> If you step on a nail and bleed, you might be 'Bota,
> If you step on nail and bend it, you're 'paki!
> If you see the words Madam, Sir or Esq after your folks name on an
> envelope, you might be an Ajebota
> But if people refer to your folks as either Mama-Bebi, Mama- Chukwudi,
or Baa Lamidi, you are NOT ajebota!
> If you have your home periodically fumigated with scentless pest
> repellents so it's virtually roach and termite free you might be an
> Ajebota.
> But if you aim with either your Cortina shoe or Scoll and can nail a
> flying cockroach to the wall, you're an Ajepaki.
> If your folks carry wallets and purses, you're possibly an Ajebota.
> But if your mom reaches into her bra to get money in the glaring eyes of
> the public, your paki is level 5!
> If, you have a bore hole installed in your compound for year-round water supply, you might be an Ajebota,
> But either you have a "kanga" (irrigation system), or, the middle of your
> head is hairless due to having logged on 65,000 mile from hauling pails of water, you're an Ajepaki!
> If, after using the bathroom, you have an assorted barrage of scented
> toilet tissuses to choose from, you just might be an Ajebota,
> But if you use water to "tamba" yaself, or you use the box of St. Louis
> sugar or the walls of your Shalanga to clean you shit, my
>brother.........
> you're an Ajepaki !
> If you brush, rinse, gargle and floss, you just might be an Ajebota
> But if, after chewing your pako, you can spit the pako-paste 40 yards,
> your Pakiness is considered level 10 !
> If you had underwear that had the elastic bands at the waistline, you
> could be an ajebota,
> But if your underwear looked like the flag of Ghana and had a
>drawstring,
> (also known as Pata Ewekoro or Majidun) you're DEFINITELY 'Jepaki' !
> If you happened to have wandered into a neighborhood during Ileya and got
> > > amazed by the fact that people found ram-fight amusing, you might be an
> ajeota,
> But if you took the ram to fight after feeding it "igbo" you're definitely
> > > ajepaki !
> If your home has sophisticatated theft deterrent systems like
> barbed-wires, dogs, a camera and an alarm systems, you might be an Ajebota.
> But if people are scared to scale your fence because of widely spread
> rumors of your folks having installed a "SHIGIDI" (whatever that is),
> you're an Ajepaki !
> If you went to a hair salon in naija to get your hair done, you just
>might be an Ajebota,
> But if you and your "onidiri" sit for six hours on an Apoti under a tree
> while she did your hair, you're paki !

> So my brother and sister, which won you be??

Me,I fall inbetween hehehe.

How was your easter hoilday?

Hi People,
How was your easter hoilday?
Mine was good, will give you the lowdown in my next update later today.

Easter weekend

Pix: The dress

Brief roundoff of my easter weekend

Friday
Tasks: shop for a dress&make my hair
Events: Birthday dinner party.

Woke up late: 7.30am
Took a quick bath& skipped breakfast,rushed out of my house and hit the road.
Thankfully the traffic was light,so I got to the office(yes office) under an hour. Sorted out a few things and was out of the building in time to make my hair appiontment,but alas my hair stylist was late. I had to chill at a friend's place for an hour before she she shows up.
Finally she shows up and made my hair into pretty Ghana weave, style: side shuku),this lasted for 3 hours.

Yes, the dress,I haven't bought the dress for the evening. I have never shopped that quickly in my entire life,I bought a brown gown and some jewellery in 25 mins.
It was 5.45pm, I rush back to my friends place,take a quick shower and dress up.
I am ready at 6.15pm on the dot. We (my friends and I) arrive at the serene chinese restaurant 1omins late.
The party was fun, fun, fun all the way,thankfully there was no dancing (I had on some serious high heels).
A young loser that had been tormenting me with his proposal,showed up with fiancee at party. Unfortunately I know his chick,(Didnot know she was his fiancee until celebrant introduced them). The loser was all panicky not very comfortable,I understood his pain but I did not give a damn, I had no feelings or anything for the loser so why was he tripping(somebody say guilty conscience),anyway he leaves abruptly 10minutes into the party. I couldn't help smiling.
Later into the evening everyone starts to get comfy and introduce themselves,their professions and all, and then the thing took a different swing when some one suddenly asks me "Are you a virgin?" Without blinking I answer truthfully "Yes!" . Omo, see lecture and questions wey I receive,chei,I for answer personal abi! ( it must have been too much martinee,getting into me and forcing my tongue to tell the truth).
Someone even asked me " Are you a lesbian?" shio! I answered all questions but strangely unlike the former me,I wasn't embarrassed. I mean why should I be?
Is it a curse to be a virgin? Yeah, someone told me at the party"Guys don' like virgins you have to teach them everything!" eventually they left me off the hook,phew!
But the whole evening was nothing short of fun and pure laughter.

Saturday
My beauty sleep was cut short by a phonecall from my boss.
Something had gone wrong,and Omohemi had to fix it.
I rushed over to her place and fixed it temporarily, was supposed to attend a premeire of a film at 7pm,but decided against when my IV had not arrived at 3pm.
Enjoyed the rest of evening with my mom,watching tv,gisting and finally catching up on my beauty sleep.

Sunday
I WENT TO CHURCH! You don't know how much this means to me,I haven't been to church in ages. I was blessed.

Later in evening
I attended another church programme, Dance drama titled: The day death died. It was a lot of fun, young people displaying their God given talent and strength. I couldn't stay till the end,It was getting late and my home was far from the place.

Monday.
Home,doing nothing,PHCN aka NEPA,made it boring. My family had decided to leave out the loud sound of our generator for the holyday,so no Tv, except for like 25mins when NEPA had mercy.
I washed my clothes,then slept,then cleaned my room,read,chatted with mom and my brother,slept, called my sis,who was at my granma's place to cheer her up a little more. Slept.
In all I think it was a good weekend.

Check out the other view of the dress and hair HERE

I lost a sister,her friend.

On my way home from work yesterday, my sister called, she was sobbing, I couldn't hear a thing,so I prayed her be still but couldn't comprehend.
My sis, is very mischievous you see,but I knew this was no prank,it was April 3rd and she had already pulled her April fool stunt on me;So I asked her to be calm,dropped the phone and called her back after a few minutes. She is still sobbing,but now I could hear the words,her ex-school buddy was dead.
Dead? Her childhood friend of 12 years. At first she thought it was a joke,when she was told on sunday then she was called again yesterday. I couldn't torture her with the "wh" questons, I just consoled her the best way I could and had my mom speak to her again,when I got home.

MY Sister's friend.
She was slim,crazy&fun,but was born with a hole in her heart; she couldn't do too much work because of this,but she was fun. I have never met one so young that lived her life without restrain and so much fun.

We lived in the same neighbourhood,she and my sis attended the same secondary school, for a long time they were inseperable.

I remember

When she hid her "bad" report card in my sister's cupboard,mom found it and took it straight to her place.

I remember
When my sis was ill for 2 weeks and couldn't go to school,her friend had told everyone in school my sister had travelled. She came home the evening before my sister was to resume school, to plan her "return". I laughed as I watched them plan,luckily my brother just sent stuff from"jand"(London),so it all worked well with the plan.They went shopping in supermarket that evening for different types of chocolate and candies.

I remember
The funny games they told me they played on their way back from school.

I remember
Her shivering into our house,she had malaria and her mom wasn't home,mum had to treat her,she slept in our house till her mom returned.

I remember
Overhearing,she and sis,scheming to go for a party immadiately after school.

I remember
As they put themselves in trouble and bailed eachother out,if they were stuck,I came to the rescue.

I remember
When she fainted at the carnival,I thought that was "it". I was mad with joy when she woke up smiling.

I remember
As mom,scolded her and sis,over their studies.

I remember it all,the memories are vivid.

She slumped.

I can't believe she's gone,why didn't she go for an operation?
If her parents had said something,we would have raised money,in school,in church,in the estate.
We would have done something.
I'm hurt,I'm sorry if I just sound... hurt.
I don't blame anyone it is too late now,
So what if she had done the operation and was hit by a car,
Died in her sleep,no more what ifs.
She's gone it is hard to accept it but it is true.
I know you are at peace,where you are.
Thank God for the memories we shared.
I know you'll rest in peace,know this too, I LOVE YOU and I'll miss you like you,crazy.

In the papers

I read in the papers on saturday,about a woman that was burnt to death in Gombe state,northern part of Nigeria.
She was supervising some students who were writing Islamic studies exam,she caught one of them sneaking in the Quran and seized it. The students beat her up and eventually killed her because, she "disrepected" the Quran!. I was really sad after reading the story,where did all that come from? They are secondary students for goodness sake? What went wrong?
What happened to the school authorities? What is the Gombe state government planning to do?

Just thinking of what I read in the news.

Adventures of a lagos commuter 1

I promised to share my commuting experiences, in this POST about commuting in Lagos.

I've had many so I'll share the most memorable.

Memorable Molue experience
On my way to GCE centre,which was very far from my house, the car broke down.
We(myself&the driver)had no option but to take public transport. I had only my lunch money with me,the driver had little money on him,so we opted for the cheapest means of transport the Molue.

The molues donot wait for passengers,you have to run and jump in,after two failed attempts at chasing after a molue and not getting in, I started sobbing like a baby, I was going to be late for my exam and I couldn't even get on the damn bus that old women were jumping in,without any fuss. Uncle John(my dad's driver) consoled me and taught me how to "jump in".
He said once I got rid of the fear of falling and reached for his hand or the conductor,I will get in.
Successfully,at the 3rd attempt I did.
In the bus,I remember a middle age man selling drugs and coughing very hard, he displayed drugs of different colors for all kinds of ailments. I remember wondering why he couldn't get a color for his cough.
I got to my centre late,but was allowed in to write the exam.
On our way back, we took another Molue,it was around 7pm and there was a heavy traffic jam.
Sitting behind me were 2 calabar women,chattering away in their native dialect.
Eventually the traffic stood still,even I, who was sitted by window couldnot feel the breeze but to make matters worse in the bus someone farted.
The kind of fart,that quietly hovers around in pungent pride.
Suddenly silence fell upon the bus,one of the calabar woman behind me annouced "wetin the smrell"( in heavy calabar accent), "ehen" someone answers from the front of the bus,"I don dey smell am since", the calabar woman responds "dey pessin for excuse,comot, go mess, den come back,aah,aah!". Passengers started hissing,swearing and fanning themselves.
In mist of all the chaos,the traffic started moving but unfortunately the bus would not start.
Everyone directed their anger towards the driver,"Foolish man!" the calabar woman started,"maybe na him mess sef!" "Oloshi" transl: foolish man, "when you know sey your moto no good why you con off am?" "Wicked man"
"Wey in conductor sef?", the 2 conductors had gotten off the bus and joined the crowd of people trekking. It was until I got home and was recounting the story,that I started laughing.

Will share my memorable danfodrama and Okada ride soon.