Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Ajepako

Check fo my easter weekend update below this post.

Had a conversation with a friend over the holiday over ajebutter and aje paki,and then I saw this email that was sent to me sometime ago by a friend.

Ajebota vs Ajepaki

AJE BUTTER VERSUS AJE PAKI (CASSAVA).
> There was this guy I met whose name is Musibau. He claims to be an
> AJEBOTA, but after opening his eyes to some things, I realised him na
> AJEPAKI
> If you step on a nail and bleed, you might be 'Bota,
> If you step on nail and bend it, you're 'paki!
> If you see the words Madam, Sir or Esq after your folks name on an
> envelope, you might be an Ajebota
> But if people refer to your folks as either Mama-Bebi, Mama- Chukwudi,
or Baa Lamidi, you are NOT ajebota!
> If you have your home periodically fumigated with scentless pest
> repellents so it's virtually roach and termite free you might be an
> Ajebota.
> But if you aim with either your Cortina shoe or Scoll and can nail a
> flying cockroach to the wall, you're an Ajepaki.
> If your folks carry wallets and purses, you're possibly an Ajebota.
> But if your mom reaches into her bra to get money in the glaring eyes of
> the public, your paki is level 5!
> If, you have a bore hole installed in your compound for year-round water supply, you might be an Ajebota,
> But either you have a "kanga" (irrigation system), or, the middle of your
> head is hairless due to having logged on 65,000 mile from hauling pails of water, you're an Ajepaki!
> If, after using the bathroom, you have an assorted barrage of scented
> toilet tissuses to choose from, you just might be an Ajebota,
> But if you use water to "tamba" yaself, or you use the box of St. Louis
> sugar or the walls of your Shalanga to clean you shit, my
>brother.........
> you're an Ajepaki !
> If you brush, rinse, gargle and floss, you just might be an Ajebota
> But if, after chewing your pako, you can spit the pako-paste 40 yards,
> your Pakiness is considered level 10 !
> If you had underwear that had the elastic bands at the waistline, you
> could be an ajebota,
> But if your underwear looked like the flag of Ghana and had a
>drawstring,
> (also known as Pata Ewekoro or Majidun) you're DEFINITELY 'Jepaki' !
> If you happened to have wandered into a neighborhood during Ileya and got
> > > amazed by the fact that people found ram-fight amusing, you might be an
> ajeota,
> But if you took the ram to fight after feeding it "igbo" you're definitely
> > > ajepaki !
> If your home has sophisticatated theft deterrent systems like
> barbed-wires, dogs, a camera and an alarm systems, you might be an Ajebota.
> But if people are scared to scale your fence because of widely spread
> rumors of your folks having installed a "SHIGIDI" (whatever that is),
> you're an Ajepaki !
> If you went to a hair salon in naija to get your hair done, you just
>might be an Ajebota,
> But if you and your "onidiri" sit for six hours on an Apoti under a tree
> while she did your hair, you're paki !


> So my brother and sister, which won you be??

Me,I fall inbetween hehehe.

21 comments:

adumaadan - Blacktinkerbell said...

Omo, this is hilarious. Bend the nail ke? How could anyone possibly do that? Ok, where's the real update. By the way, I haven't made up my mind yet about the blog boo. Need your advice. e-mail me, hear?

londonnaijachic said...

lol! happy easter in arrears to you babe!

UnNaked Soul said...

after enough self assesment, I came to the sad realization that I be kpaki level 7... I need an botti babe to come butter my status oh... and am dead serious... dis no be laff mata o!

omohemi Benson said...

@Blacktinkerbell,
Real update coming up.
I have emailed you,have you made up your mind yet?

@LNC,
Thanks sweerie,

@Unaked,
lol,so you be ajepaki.
I hope you find a business botti babe to manage you.

ijeoma obu iheoma said...

i'd like to think am more paki or ajebota.. nice post

NaijaBloke said...

Na wah o ... u suppose put the list for inbetween too now and also a list for ppl that trasitioned from Ajebota into Ajepaki(either by themselves or my the economy)..LOL

Happy Easter in arrears

Vera Ezimora said...

Hey love! Twas great talkin 2 u today.

lol @ the ajepaki stepping on a nail and bending it. Dang!!! I'm tryna imagine d picture.

Waffarian said...

Hheheheheh, my sister I no fit relate at all oh, all this ones na lagos yarns! heheheheh

law_damsel said...

can i b half-caste in dis situation dat is half-half of it all..he he he..

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

lmao... this is hilarious... i want to be paki... i mean someone who can bend a nail with their foot... thats power!!! That persons on that superman and marvel comics shit... screw bota.. i wana be a paki... lol

boorish male said...

I am as ajepaki as it gets.......

omohemi Benson said...

@Ijeoma,
Every Nigerian no matter how "tush" they may claim, has an ajepaki or pako somewhere deep within. Thanks.

@True word my broda, lol.
Happy easter to you too in arrears.

@Vera,
The pleasure is all mine.
Ajepaki bending nail na level 10! lol

@Waffarian,
All warri people are ajepakis, no contest. lol

@Law damsel
Yes o, like me you fall inbetween.

@OWNB,
I guess all mutants are ajepaki. lol. You have superpowers luv,but I think you fall inbetween.

@Boor,
WHAT? Boor,paki gini? don't try and form jo,you be botti and you know it!

AbujaBabe said...

Kai that means i be AJEPAKI!oooh! Kai!!...LOL!!!!.....LOL cos i have sat under a tree bear times opposite Princess Daisy in Wuse zone 6 Numerous of times to get my hair done.. i just call it feeling my roots..lol!!..

Thats soo Funny i swear!...:)

Vera Ezimora said...

Okay, I have 2 admit 2 being able to nail fly my shoe/slippers miles away 2 kill a roach. Na paki be that o!

lol @ Boorish. I don't believe that one bit o! Paki ke? You? 4 where? U wan steal am??

I see you have this mad man on ur page (UnNaked). A rat-fearing mad man.

UnNaked Soul said...

@vera: you called me a mad man. remmeber say the luff we shared at psych ward in yaba... remember the sweet names i use to call you: verastikokolicious, verawam, verakokoriko and others... no let me open fowl yansh for here oh

Paki_in_Denial said...

I have three bore hole systems installed in my house.

1 for water, the other two for fanta and coke.

Anthony Arojojoye said...

I wish I were a paki full time, but I have xteristics that cut across the two. SO what would I call myself, Ajepa-tter?

dolly said...

Am i ajebota or ajepaki..........** thinking**

i think I'm in between

laspapi said...

If I can kill a mosquito I spy out of the corner of my eye, travelling at 70 km an hour, what does that make me?

BabaAlaye said...

Omohemi True there's Ajebutter and Ajepaki.

We shouldn't forget that inbetween there are Aje Margarine.(Not quite butter, and not quite paki.)

Then above the Ajebutter level sef we have the Aje Premium Cheese...

omohemi Benson said...

@Laspapi,
You are a genius, no aje anything.lol

@Babaalaye,
lol@ the explainations