Monday, July 30, 2007

fun weekend

I had a good weekend.

starting from friday night to sunday evening.

I met a couple of bloggers at Laspapi's play on sunday,
It was fun! Thanks guys.

Saturday, July 28, 2007


Who am I?

What am here for?

Will I fulfill my purpose?

Where am I going?

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Adventures of a Lagos commuter 3

If you commute regularly in Lagos, you'll meet different people, from the ordinary reserved commuter to the really crazy one.
I have a categorized a few,that you might identify on your next trip.

The Activist: This is the commuter who champions the course of other commuters, ranging from exorbitant fares to indiscrimate abuse by the bus conductors, amongst other things. He is bold, loud mouthed and often times wins the course.
Personal experience: My sister and I were returning from the market one evening,the fare was N30,when the bus was filled with passengers and we about to leave, the conductor annouced that the fare was N50. There was no reason given, the bus that had left just before ours collected N30, but the conductor and the driver insisted on collecting N50.
Some passengers grumbled, some were indifferent, some were cursing the driver, who was already ordering those who could not pay the fare to get off the bus, but alas there was this young woman, in the bus, the activist. She calmed everyone in the bus,raising her voice steadily, she insisted that we must not pay the N50 fare, asking us all to remain in the bus and coperate. She said her house rent had just been increased no explainations, her light bill had just been increased no explainations but her salary has remained the same for 7 years, no explainations!, she went on how we just allow things without fighting or asking.
To cut a long story short, we were all seated in the bus for an hour, no body got off and eventually our action paid off, we paid the regular N30 fare.

The preacher: this is the commuter, who propagates the gospel of Christ in the bus. They may or maynot have a bible at hand, but they quote scriptures well. A few of them are very good, very good meaning; good diction, good dressing, subtle approach and most of them are purely the opposite. A few of them ask for offering after preaching.

Jonah: (remember the biblical story of the lad, who slept in the belly of the whale?).
This is the commuter, who sleeps from the beginning of the trip to the end of the trip,often missing his busstop, sometimes the sleeping commuter might even snore!

The analyst: This is the commuter who ananlyses the political and economical situation of the country, citing unverified statistics and stories, often criticising or comending the government of the day.

The Salesman: This is the commuter who sells strong conviction that his product is the best in the whole world. From booklets, medicine to snacks , name it, the sales man has got it.

The Iya Olomo - This is the commuter, who has more than two children with him/her, often times,this commuter is usually a woman who is pregnant, has a baby strapped to her back and has like four or more children with her. When Iya olomo gets on the bus, she tries with (of course) no success to carry all her four children on her laps until any commuter offers to help her with one or two of the children. When she is getting off the bus it is another drama, the conductor will have to warn the driver "oloyun o pomo o!,o gbomo dani, o mu omo lowo,o leru leyin" (transl: Please wait patiently for this one, she's pregnant, she has a child strapped to her back, she carrying one on her shoulder, holding another and she's got lugage in the boot!)

Staff: this is the commuter who refuses to pay the fare, claiming to be a staff, this commuter is usually a police officer,a soldier or one of the touts aka agbero the motorpark. Sometimes, some smart guys use this moves too, claiming to know the driver from childhood,neighbourhood, or he is the chairman of the boys or some other silly idea that comes up in his head.
If the smart guy is lucky the driver and conductor may let him be but if not they may order him to get off the bus or beat him silly!
Personal Experience: A uniformed man, who was neithera police oficer,naval officer or soldiers, got on the bus one nice friday evening, feeling all fly,when the conductor asked him for money he proudly answered "staff!" the conductor, looked at him and laughed(I remember vividly that conductor's dentition, it was ugly!) and answered"staff ti bo?" transl: staff from where? The man couldnot answer,the conductor had a fun day beating the guy, it wasn't funny at all!

The Mercy passenger: this is the commuter who never has enough money to pay for the fare but boards the bus all the same, hoping that the conductor will look on him/she with mercy or some other commuter will look with upon mercy, and add to the fare or plead with conductor.

Iya Oloja- This is commuter is a regular on the yellow buses, especially the Molue.
They are very cautious with their bags and goods. They haggle alot with the conductor over the bus fares and the fares they have to have to pay for their goods in the bus.
Personal experience: An iya oloja was sitting beside me in a danfo, then the conductor asked for her fare,she brought money from the leftside of her bra, counted it and put it back, brought out money fromthe right side of her bra, counted it and put it back, brought out money from the pouch market woman usually carry, counted it and put it back, finally she brought out money from her purse and paid the conductor!

The eccentric: As the name suggests, this is really eccentric commuter, who is full of drama.
(s)he could either been talking to herself through out the bus ride, or pick on another passenger or conductor sometimes even driver and insult them through out the ride. Pray never to be sitted beside one.

The reserved: This is the quiet easy going commuter, who tries as much as possible to avoid trouble with the conductor and fellow passengers, you will hardly ever hear his/her voice in the bus. They come in quitely and get off quietly.

Know any other kind of commuter, please share.

If you missed the POST that lead to the Adventures 1 and 2 read up!

Friday, July 20, 2007

Interested... hurry!

Stories Across Africa (StAAf) a core project of the African Academy of Languages, the official language agency of the AU, is a is a pan African project intending to:

develop and support the use of African languages in print;
support mother tongue based bilingual education in Africa;
stimulate and support the African publishing industry and African literary and visual artists to create and foster the use of children’s literature;
begin to create a common store of written children’s literature for African children;
support possibilities for reading for enjoyment as part of literacy learning and development.

In collaboration with a local publisher from each of Southern, West, Central, East and North Africa, StAAf is publishing three anthologies of writing for children:
Early Childhood (0-8),
Middle Childhood (9-12) and
Teenagers (13+)
We invite you to submit stories and poems in any African language (with a summary or translation in English, French or Portuguese) or any of the AU official languages. Please follow the following guide (suggested maximum words per submission) with respect to length:
ECD: 800 words
Middle: 1200 words
Teen: 2000 words
The selection process will be made by the StAAf steering committee and their decision will be final. Authors of submissions which are selected for inclusion in one of the anthologies will be paid a permission fee for the use of their writing. Authors of manuscripts selected for publication will be informed before the end of October 2007.
Selected stories and poems will:
arise from and give an African point of view;
have definite literary merit;
reflect diversity in terms of gender, ethnicity etc;
challenge discrimination;
include humour and avoid being didactic and preachy;
include not only ‘problem literature’ but fantasy and experimental, non-linear texts too.
Selection issues to be considered include:
Style: How is the story or poem written? Are the ideas easily understandable? Is it readable for the target age group?
Translation: Will it be possible to adapt this poem or story into a variety of languages used on the African continent?
Theme: Is the theme relevant for the age group? Will it have continent-wide appeal? Is the theme interesting? Does it portray positive roles for the readers? Is it gender sensitive?
Attractiveness: Is the story or poem appealing to the target audience? If there is humour? Is its appeal continent-wide? Does the language attract the reader?
Clarity: Is the rhythm, diction and syntax clear and appealing? Does the language contribute to transmitting the message and attracting/ entertaining the audience? Is the use of language original and lively?
Submission DetailsSubmission deadline: 30 July 2007Please submit stories and poems by post or email.
If the story has already been published, please submit a copy of the title and imprint pages.
Please make and keep a copy of any story you submit for yourself. StAAf will not return stories to the sender.
No story will be accepted unless it is accompanied by a completed submission form.
(The submission form below can be cut and pasted from here and sent by email or snail mail)
Please submit entries to:
Carole BlochStAAf Central Co-ordinatorRoom 14, Arts Block,PRAESA, UCTPrivate Bag Rondebosch 7700Cape TownSouth AfricaEmail: 0027 21 6503589Fax: 0027 21 6503027
StAAf 2nd Call for Children’s Stories (and Poetry)SUBMISSION FORM
Please complete a new form for each submission

Thanks Omoalagbede for this.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Thisday Festival/fiasco

The much awaited Thisday festival,ended this morning. I had fun but I was also disappointed with the organisers.

1st Blunder :Merging the 2day event into one. I arrived at the Thisday event centre in Lekki at 6pm, and a few people had arrived. We(My colleague and I) bounced in happy that at least we arrived "early". When we got into they hall itself,it was not ready,it looked like the event was to take place next week. The stage wasn't finished, some of the equipments were still in the boxes, the hall was not fully arranged. Trust Nigerians now, we still sat down hoping that the organisers will do some magic oh! and ofcousrse they did, The able oga patapata of Thisday, got on the uncompeleted stage and annouced that the event had been shifte till tomorrow, apologising. His reason: customs didnot clear the equpiments on time and something about Shakira coming in two aircrafts,I didnot bother to hear the rest, I just got up and left.
New time:11am on Sunday.

Sunday morning: I skip church and hurry again to Thisday centre.
I got there early and got a good seat. beleiveing that max, the show will kick off by 1pm.
for where? the show didnot start until 2.45pm, with Shakira opening the stage,
Please that lady can dance! and her hips don't lie at all at all. She performed well though it was short. She did some serious belly dancing too.

2nd Blunder: there was no comedian to help compere with Dare Art-Alade.
After each artist performed, it took like an hour, yes an hour to clear the stage, while we were waiting, did the organisers not deem it fit to entertain the audience like they did last year?

3rd Blunder: How many compere can one event have? there was Kate henshaw, Femi something(can't remember his surname),Dan foster and Dare. Four! haba!
And so that we will know which bank brought which artist, representatives of the bank had to come and announce who their bank brought.
Diamond brought Rihanna
UBA brought Kelly of destiny child.
speaking of Kelly, girlfriend fainted o! ah! at first I thought it was part of the act but when her dancers turned back and started crying and screaming her name, I knew there was trouble.
I started praying oh! Ms.Rowland must not give Nigeria a bad name, because if anything happens to her peren, na another stori be dat!For all you know USA may wage war on Nigeria!
But after pouring water,fanning her and using oxygen to revive her, she was revived! Halleluyah! one of the hosts(Kate) and some other guys formed a human fence around her, blocking the view of the audience, but as I dey front now, my eye shook well well!
4th Blunder: no strecher, no ambulance, a young able bodied man, had to carry her out of the stage.

so no ambulance, was there 1st aid kit there ?, were the organisers not envisaging any form of "accidents', I heard that an ambulance came eventually.
(imagine if there was a good hospital at every radius of Lagos and Nigeria for that matter?)
Thank God, Ms. Kelly didnot get any worse where will we have taken here to? General Hospital? The Federal Hospital in 1004 Flats that has been sold? or Reddinton hosptial on Idowu Martin in Victoria Island?

At that point, I was thinking the show will end but eventually Sasha came on stage. Her performance was fair.

The best performance for me was D-banj! yes, we love our own, that brother knows how to bring it on and keep it on!His performance was Hawt! from drums, to his dance(his steps remind me of Fela Anikulapokuti), his dancers, his back up singers, Don Jazzy,Kd form the trybe and a new artiste in Mo' Hits records,don't know his name but I know Cole is his surname.
Their performance was banging!! and colorful with the Nigerian cultural display of Calabar and Benue dancers.

Another artist that won my heart was John Legend, please that brother is good looking and fresh. He sang songs from his new album : lifted,stereo and we just don't care and ofcousre he sang "ordinary people", he was looking too fine, with he white tee shirt covered in sweat and playing his beautiful black grand piano. It was tres sexy. I could make love to that man on stage.

Rihanna - The ella ella crooner, listen to the naija version HERE, it is very nice.
She came in clad in a white beautiful gown, but i don't know why, she didnot have her performance spirit with her, she looked like someone hadddd just upset her, before she came on stage. She performed Umberella, Bobby marley song - "I wanna love you" , Unfaithful and Pon de replay".

P.diddy: Trust diddy effizi man, he came in with all bling bling. He had on a black tee shirt with Notorious BIG's picture on it. He held the crowd, it was a mutual attraction. He said that of all the audiences he had performed for outside America,the Nigerian audience is the best!
He didnot have a live band like the other artist, a DJ mixed the hits while he sang along.

I left at 12.45am, and Neyo was yet to perform, I couldnot wait to see the fine boy pink lips dude sing, but it is all good. I doubt Tuface, Mode 9 and Psquare ended singing this morning.
UB- 40, I heard they left during the event, they didnot perform, overheard someone saying that they left because their contract said they were to perform on Saturday not Sunday.
so they left. Pity, because I was really looking forward to seeing them perform.

Overall, the event was good but it could have been better, being that it was the 2nd, security was tight, food and drinks was expensive! a bottle of soda was sold at N500, X 5 of the original price, wetin? pictures coming soon, I didnot take enough,but I'll upload them as soon as possible.

Monday, July 9, 2007

High Heels... High Hell!

Bata mi a dun ko, ko, ka!

Smart, sexy and stylish... Some of what extra inches give a lady, when she puts on her stilettos... but dare I say, I am one of those women high heels don't give high jinks!!! High heels are pretty, the different designs and color they come in are just alluring, flat shoes on the other hand are just plain boring beside highs (Picture cinderlla with all her magic, beside her two ugly step sisters) but why do they cause my heels, my thighs and calves so much pain? I used to be a tomboy, so sneakers and flats have always been appealing to me (and still are), until recently, when I started blooming into this fab chic. I decided to add some " (i.e. inches if you were wondering) to my heels, to get the feel to High action I have been missing. I start small, with a beautiful gold slipper of about 5cm, it was not so bad!

  • I could walk in it

I could walk briskly in it

I could think in it

I could think while walked in it.

I could smile in it.

I acquired more 5cm heels, for work mostly (block heels), as well as some for church and fun outings. So high heels were not such a big deal until... a girlfriend raised the bar on my behalf with a few more inches in a lovely pair of pink Ceseare Paciotti shoes she gave me as a gift. This gift made me High, and I admired them in mirror, practising how to walk in them around my house...and everywhere to be honest.I couldnt wait to launch them officially and finally a grand opening presented it self............. A Wedding!!!!!!!!!!
I made sure my outfit had a touch of pink to match my Pink Paciottis. I was so excited about the (my) prospects. On my way to the wedding, I wrapped my pink paciottis in its bag and just before I alighted from the cabbie, I put on my Pink Paciottis-What a feeling!

It felt oh so good...the heels were comfortable. I was on a major High, as the few extra inches added to my 5"8 frame. I walked carefully, like a lady not in my usual smaja soilder style trying to avoid slipping on the freshly polished floors. My teeth (and especially my pride are valuable you see..) I had to be extra careful skirting the ditches with grace and hopping daintily over drainage slabs so that my heels did not get caught up in one of the openings. In those heels, I had to think very quickly before I took a single step.

Fast forward >>> to 2weeks ago.

An Owambe party in the offing. I just had to purchase a pair of sliver sleek high sandals!!! Gorgeous wonders!
Owambe day. 9am in the morning, I am high in Sliver, smiling and *shimmering * bound to be a splendid day!!! 2pm: I am still parading myself in sleek sliver, walking briskly, squatting and dancing, not some Englishman 1, 2 step dance but serious bend your waist, shake your booty, get down kind of dance. I was boogying in sliver...until one hour later. Without much warning, my legs began to wobble.
Wetin do my leg? I don chop ke! I ignored it and continue the boogie, but soon I couldn't ignore it, I began to wobble too. Quick, quick! I hurried to the nearest a seat to rest my poor feet for a few minutes...Or maybe a little more than a few-20 minutes to be exact! I rose to continue the boogie but my wobbling legs refused.
Somebody- anybody should have warned me! I searched for rescue, my flip flops were not anywhere near, infact I forgot them at home! Who could possibly save me? Finally after wobbling round the hall a bit, I finally found rescue in a blessed woman sent from Heaven above who had an extra pair of slip ons. Next morning... I wake in up in absolutely painful (Peyn) Pain! From my waist down to my ankles, fire! But it always looked easy seeing Beyonce dem do it on TV, infact I saw Beyonce, boogy live on stage in some bad killer heels when she came to naija, last October and she did not feel any pain or show any form of pain, she was having fun! But see me, I could barely walk.

After this experience you will think, never again! Na lie! yesterday morning in church, I danced well during praise& worship, only for the wobbling to begin again, I sat down swiftly and jejely. High Heel cannot come and kobalize me in church. Over my sexy body. I did not stand up again until after service. At the end, I walked out majestically. The wobbling had ceased but I had to walk from the church to the car park (came in a friend's car), which was a good 7mins walk on a very (very) bad (naija style-bad) road. It was not funny o! My friends were having such fun at my expense, laughing as I walked like there were land mines on the street. I didn’t care too much about walking like a lady, I was more concerned about keeping my balance and making it in one piece to that car!!I succeeded and immediately changed into my slippers- BLISS!!

High heels are fashionable. But I still can't work- walk around them...and the pain they eventually cause me?? Well I have High hopes that one day, I shall get through my phobia for pain, chance the consequences and just look fashionable jare.... until then however, it's me and my small inches and flat shoes all the way- God bless the manufacturers!

Tuesday, July 3, 2007


wetin concern vulture with barber?

Monday, July 2, 2007

A season of Wole Soyinka

In this beautiful month of July, Laspapi is honouring the nobel laurate, Wole Soyinka.
A Season of Wole Soyinka produced by laspapi in collaboration with the British Council/Nigeria & Terra Kulture will commence on Sunday the 1st of July 2007 and through every Sunday in July.

Sunday July 1- Who's Afraid of Wole Soyinka?- written by Wole Oguntokun
SundayJuly 8- The Lion and the Jewel- directed by Tunji Sotimirin

Sunday July 15- Death and the King's Horseman- directed by Segun AdefilaSunday

July 22- Camwood on the Leaves- directed by Lekan BalogunSunday

July 29- The Jero Plays (Trials of Brother Jero & Jero's Metamorphosis) directed by Wole Oguntokun

All plays will be at Terra Kulture, Tiamiyu Savage, Victoria Island and there will be two shows every Sunday at 3pm and 6pm.Tickets- N2000 each