Tuesday, February 27, 2007

On my way to work

On my way to work yesterday morning,I was listening to my favorite radio station 96.9 {cool fm} and my favorite presenter Dan Foster{also a judge on West African Idol},when this young lady called the presenter. She was sobbing so hard,the presenter had to beg her to calm down before her words became audible.
I was wondering what could make a young woman so sad on a monday morning?

Then she begins her short but sad story,her boyfriend of 9 years had broken up with her. She does not know why. They had gone together to abort her pregnancy,because he said they didnot have money to cater for the unborn baby. A few days later,boyfriend comes to meet her asking her to provide the baby,she is dumbfounded! "But we went to abort the baby together!?"
He breaks up with her.
Parts of the story was incoherent to me, parts of like when she said "He is a christain","If I tell him, I am not in mood, he will force me!" {doesn't that mean rape?},then she asks the presenter to please call her boyfriend,to beg him! to take her back.

Well,the presenter calls the boyfriend,and of course he sounds all nice, telling Dan to please beg the girlfriend to come back after a whole 9 years. He says he wants to marry her.

Why am I telling you this story? 1. The caller's naiveness, caught my attention, {I am trying hard not to use the word dumb}but I cannot blame her,maybe she doesnt know better.
She has been dating this boyfie of hers for 9 years? That makes her how old? I am guessing between the ages of 23-30. If one is of that age, hasn't she heard of contraceptives? 2. What does being a christain mean? 3.Doesn't she know that boyfie is giving her bullshit and quit? 3. So what if boyfie disvirgined her?must he be the one to marry her? What does marriage mean to her? 4. What does happiness mean to her?

Why are we as women so gullible? I don't want to start woman palava today.

Small gist along way
So, I am driving my danfo o jeje,then small traffic con hook us for Ikorodu road, I see a skinny,fragile young lady with a funny hairstyle, kissing a young hairy man,who is reeking of pot,{Yes, I can smell him from a distance},he is smoking and drinking{did I mention this was 7.45am} and this skinny chick is happy,I am happy too, the traffic is moving.

So, I try to avoid the traffic on the expressway and turn to service lane,but my fizzle brain forgets that the tax I have to pay agbero on the service lane is double. My conductor is angry but he starts to sing a popular christain chorus, I am puzzled,why is he singing?
The passengers join in and then I get it! If the bloody agberos think we are from church they won't stop us! And oh! my goodness it works. They didnot stop us!
Everyone burst into laughter afterwards.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Children's Programme 2

Nigerian Programmes

Kidivision 101

Storyland:With Uncle Jimi Solanke,telling children different stories.

Speakout:It was a kind of a debate,children talking about diferent issues.

Foreign Programmes

Muppet Show

gODZILLA: A dinosaur that lived under water.

Xmen: The cartoon and comics are better than the films.


Dodo,the kid from outta space.

Chip n' Dale(Resuce rangers)

Superted:An ordinary teddy bear given superpowers by mother nature,had a friend called spotty. There was Texas Pitt and bones too. Loved it!

Pigeon Street

Dr. Who

Magic school bus

Ghost busters

Police Academy

Wooody Pecker

Thats all I can remember for now!

Friday, February 23, 2007

Break In Transmission

Please pardon my break in transmission.
The list of children's programmes will continue later.

The Lagos traffic hawker

Before dawn,
You are awake,
Preparing your wares for sale.

You have hope that today will be better than yesterday,
Even though yesterday was no different than the day before.

Like a child is to the barren woman,
So is the building traffic to a Lagos hawker.

Running, Panting,
Cursing ,Sweating,
Smiling,all at winning me and selling your goods.
Even as I frown at your sweaty palms staining my windscreen,
You smile back at me.

You sell everything from purewater to newspapers
To recharge cards and fancy hand bags.
To cleaning my windscreen with the soapy liquid,
The liquid reminds me of our economy.

I wonder if that little change,
Makes a difference,
Difference of one meal in a day at least,
Difference of taking something home to the large or small family you keep.

To others you may be another faceless hawker,
And truly sometimes you annoy me.
To me you are a hustler,
And I respect the fact you haven't restorted to stealing.

Dedicated to the young hawker who lost her life in Mile 12 yesterday morning,trying to make a living.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

My Favorite tv programmes when I was a kid.

Where have all the good children programmes gone?

What do kids watch these days? On Nigerian TV now,there is norring,absolutely nothing!
On cable, there are a few but not like the good old days.
I will list the few I can remember.

Voltron: It was about some five kids,who had "lions",pink(Princess Alora),Green,yellow,blue and red. The slogan I remember is "And I will form the head".

Fragile rock: Puppets, living down under a rock,who ran away from some monsters when they went to pick "raddishes". There were some very little guys who coexisted with them and built somethings they could eat. One of the puppets had an uncle that lived in the city that wrote letters to them. There was always singing.

Square 1 : Musical mathematical show. I loved it,it helped with my maths.

Sesame street : Who didn't watch Sesame street? Big bird,Mr.Snoopleup-a-guess,Oscar the grouch,Kermit the frog,Cookie monster,A counting dracula. I loved it!
Is there anywhere I can get to buy like DVD or something? Are the producers of Sesame street still in business,have they made a new programme for kids? Answers anyone? Ok, I'll go google it.

Contact : A simple science programme for kids. All I can remember is the 3-2-1 Contact!

Thundersurb:About a submarine,never liked it!

Birdman: A guy that got his powers by flying towards the sun.

Tales by moonlight: Aah! Breath of fresh air,I love Aunty Nkem. She was the storyteller,telling children stories about people and animals. After the story,she asked the children the morals they have learnt from it. This show used to air on NTA on sunday evenings,precisely 6.30.
I really loved this show because I used to go for the recordings and Aunty lived very close to me. I wonder where she is now?

Globe trotters : A team of basketball players,that saved world? I remember the guy with the afro hair who had alot of stuff in it,I mean he could bring out a car from it!

Inspector Gadget : Can hear the song playing in my head can't sing remember the words though. As the name implied it was about a gadget man,everypart of his body was a gadget. He had a niece that often helped and saved him.

Tom&Jerry : Tom the cat, Jerry mouse. Always getting "along". Still love it.

Danger mouse: A mouse with a little friend saving the world, in his white body suit and little yellow car.

Captain planet: The song "Captain planet, he's the hero ,gonna take pollution down to zero,he is the man and he is fighting on the planetside". I remember there were kids with the elements in their superpower rings.

Rent-A-Ghost : A programme about ghosts running a shop and doing mischeivous things,wasn't scary at all but ver funny.

I think this post is getting too long will continue tommorrow.

You can check Jola's list of Nigerian programme that rocked back in the days. (Check for and then there was Nollywood)

Monday, February 19, 2007

I am Female

I am Female.

I am female,being born into the world is a dilemma,no matter what part of world I fall in.

In some conutries once my mother hears my feminine heart beat from the scan,
She aborts me, I am not worthy to live {so they have told her}
In some parts I am allowed to live,but only for a few days and then I am killed.

In some places,I am kept like a bad secret,treated with no dignity.
I must never speak,seldom be seen,never loved. I am accesory, a slave.

If I am lucky,in some places,my family might love,teach me,send me to school,I may never be restrained.
I am one of the lucky few in over a million who'll never be that lucky.

In some places,I survive,I am sent to school,only to stopped half way because for me,books have no value. I am to be married to a man,the age of my grand father,I donot understand?!;but my playmates are still running in the sand.
I am not only to marry him,but I am to have his baby,where in my body do I carry his child?

In some places,I am already perceived as Promiscuous even before I can understand the word "Sex" {nobody ever explains it}part of me is chopped off,to keep me safe,faithful and happy.
How can happiness bring so much pain?

I am supposed to understand everything and ask nothing.
I am not expected to make valued judgement because I am female,not a human being.

When I talk about things that hurt and concern me,I am a feminist,too touchy,too opinionated,
I might never find a man to marry me,I am not submissive!

I don't mean to question my creator,but I think the very essence of my body is a sin.
No matter how well I clothe it,some are still tempted by it,even when they mutilate and molest me.
My body caused it.

If eventually,I am married to a good human being,all might sail well for me but if I'm "bought" at such a high cost,I am just an expensive living object. I can be hit many times without feeling,even if I feel it,I musn't show it,even if marks appear on my body I musn't mention it to anyone.

If our union has not a child,despite my many visits to the doctors and my king has not even taken a test once,I am to blame.
I must have killed all the babies God gave me and if I happened to be a virgin, I am a witch!

When I bear the children,sometimes I cannot choose when to stop bearing,even though my body is weak,
I must keep at it.
If I am unfortunate to bear some like me,I must keep at it til I find a son,to make the family proud and save me from shame.

Sometimes I can be anything I want to be.
Sometimes it only happens in my dreams.

I am female, I exist.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

An awful Valentine

I don't think I have ever had an eventful valentine in my life! yeah,[I will spare you the boring details}
But yesterday's own was by far the worst, I was in the hospital for the whole day!
Yep, I was in the hospital for bloody menstrual pain, damn! it was awful,I literally died!
I coludn't go to work,couldn't eat,couldn't take drugs,couldn't sleep until I was taken to hospital by my parents. I couldn't even cry,I just groaned!

When I got to the hospital,I had a real argument with doctor about putting me on drips but finally I succummbed and was put on my first ever drip in my entire life! It was painful,putting the needle through my vein but after I got past that it was ok. I didnot feel relief instantly but I feel asleep like a child. When I woke up,I was still in pain,so the doctor had to give me another injection,that I can still feel on my butt right now! Gosh! It was indeed an awful valentine.

I was discharged last night and the oversabi male nurse at the hospital,kept coming to my room "to check up on me" winking at me,touching me "to feel my skin sorry temparture." It was not funny,I was just too weak to really scream at him,but I snapped at the idiot severally and asked the doctor to change my nurse. Abi na by force?

I am healthy now,though still bleeding tremendously. Now you know why I hate the damn period thing. I am going to see a gynecologist next week and she will examine thoroughly and let see what we can do about the whole thing. I wish there was a way we could pause the period till am ready to have kids,is it possible?

I am truly tired,if I go through this for menstrual wahala alone,childbirth nko?

How was your valentine? abeg gist me o!

Monday, February 12, 2007

I' ve been tagged!

I was tagged by Laspapi

Three things that scare me:
1. Being confined by marriage
2. Nigeria becoming worse
3. Myself

Three people who make me laugh:
1. My silblings
2. Angry kid(see picture on right side of my blog,you need to see his videos,check HERE)
3. Basket mouth

Three Things I love:
1. My Journals
2. Music
3. Films

Three Things I hate:
1. The Nigerian Police
2. My period
3 Spiral Staircase

Three Things I don't understand:
1. Men
2. Why Nigerian leaders don't get it.
3.How to tie a gele(headtie)

Three things on my desk:
1.My computer
2. A glass of water
3. My phones

Three things I’m doing right now:
1. Updating my blog
2. Daydreaming
3. Checking my mails

I want to do before I die:
1. Get a potion,that will make me remain young and live 4ever!
2. Travel around the world.
3. Open a great school for toodlers & teenagers

1. Three things I can do:
1. Sleep for long hours
2. Use a digital camera
3. Run after a moving danfo bus and get in( seriously Bill gates,can't do that!).

Three things you should listen to:
1. The Holy spirit
2. Your rumbling tummy
3. A danfo driver shouting comot for road o!

Three things you should never listen to:
1. Nigerian government officials
2. Oversabi people
3. People who don't practise what they preach

Three things I’d like to learn:
1. How to play the violin
2. How to fart, without it making noise&smelling!
3. Telephathy

Three favourite foods:
2. Cream doughtnuts

Three beverages I drink regularly:
1. Water
2.Garri(does it count?)
3. Yoghurt

Three TV shows/Books I watched/read as a kid:

1. Enid Blyton's books(Read)
2.Sesame street(Watch)
3. Archie's comics (Read)

Three people I'm tagging
Three is too small jo,to all who read this blog and have cooler answers.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Is this too much to ask for in a man?

Women may be from Venus, but we sure know what we want in our aliens from Mars.
Check out some of my other sisters list. Beauty,(cHECK MY IDEAL MAN) Londonnaijachic

My Man must

Understand me for me ----- Yes, I am crazy!

Let me be who I want to be ---- The sexy working woman.

Listen to me when I speak ------ Yes, I like to talk

Have a great sense of humour -------- A good laugh a day,wouldn't break your jaw.

Understands the art of love making ------- Please I am not a whore

Has a deep understanding of what life is
and what it means to respect a humanbeing ----Not just some fine boy by branding

Can truly share his feelings ---------- Not ego tripping,saying its a "man thing"

God fearing and understands the word ------ Please don't expect me to be ms. goody two shoes

Ambitious -------- Whatever that means in a good way

Loving ----------- Truly unconditional

Caring & romantic ---------- Everyone needs attention,it will work wonders for him.

Financial steady ----------- My love DOES cost a thing

Educated ------------ Abi?

Style ------------ I need someone to look up to,but we can work on it.

Patient ---------- It is a virtue

Whatever extra good qualities that come along these, I'll take it!
Am I too demanding?

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Naija Sha

Young Nigerian boy was hung in Singapore,read full story HERE. I am not saying what Tochi did was right or wrong,after all a Nollywood star was also caught here in Nigeria for the same offence and given a "fair" verdict of 1 million naira fine or 3 years imprisonment in jail. Get details HERE.

My main concern is what did the Nigerian government do about Tochi's case. My government started rallying for Tochi a few days to his death sentence. I just heard about the case four days to his death! The CLO tried,but our Government really did not do much,even after he was hung,no official statement was made. Hmm...
In Naija we are on our own o!

This is a country where there is no power supply for several days and finally your bulb blinks but the power surge damages all your appliances;but with that you are lucky because if per chance the electric spark causes fire, you are on your own o! No fire truck in Nigeria has water,if there is ,there is no fuel,if there is,there is no tyre.

In Naija a woman is raped and the question is not where is the culprit?
The question is what was she wearing? What was she doing? Maybe she asked for it!

In Naija when some thief snatches your phone,purse or even pen! you are accused of being too flashy or careless.

In Naija,I am harrassed by hoodlums in daylight as the Governor's convoy speeds past me,the hoodlums hail him but they continue to harass me. It is not the Governor's fault,he couldn't see me through his tinted glasses and moreover he has some serious state matter to attend to.

In Naija, when the drunk, hungry looking policeman questions me rudely, I am suppose to keep smiling so that he doesn't lose it.

In Naija, when the doctor mistakenly(seriously,he didn't mean it, it was due to negligence) transfuses HIV blood to a healthy baby,we are supposed to thank God the child didn't die(at least not yet)
Sue gini? When we never get money eat.

In Naija things are not that bad,life sure is hard,but only we of Naija, can save our land.

Hmm... Naija sha.

Friday, February 2, 2007


This post is for those who are current in the celebrations happenings in blogsville in the Valentine month.
I shall make it short and sharp!
Overwhelmed will be having a birthday bash,she is going to be 21!!! Please get details from her.

Vera,my mentor is getting married again! yeah though she denies it but I have proof
HERE, She and NB did a hush hush thingie jo,nobody can convince me other wise.. For all yea who donot know now you know. She is getting married to Guy Horny for obvious reasons. I thought it was going to be Boorish though I don't really like him,yeah he treats Vera, like a queen but I can't stand his unpleasant and rude attitude towards her friends,excluding me sha,he just called sweetheart some days ago,(see his comment) and his double mindedness. Gosh!

I won't let excitement get into my head and say I'm the sweetheart,helping the
bride with all the planning,but hey I am the official overseer to the success of this wedding despite all the haters!!!

Like you all know the aso-ebi colur of course is green and gold,though the bride hasn't chosen the shade of
green yet! though the aso-ebi distributor, Temmy tayo is yet to come up with the samples I asked her for.

confused and all those who want to be on thebridal train please note the outfit cost a cheap 2,500 pounds only, see gown here,(We cannot afford Guy horny's eyes moving about on Vera's wedding day) if you like it please make payment ASAP,if not please tie your iro and buba to the venue,*Hiss*. I mean where can you get a snazzy gown like that for 2,500 pounds any way.

Please ladies in as much,as it is wedding and there will be eligible bachelors and married men the there, please don't come dressed like
this or else you will be denied entry to the venue. Don't say I didn't warn you!!

One more thing,Please if you know you donot have a gift for the bride,please make no plans of coming. Understood?
For more info on wedding and all please contact
the couple Vera and GH for more details.
I am only a mouthpiece cum wedding planner.

Other Matters arising.
For naija dem dey do wan kind of boring reality show called The intern,see the
website never launch o!
Error number 1, error number 2,they(who soever the organisers are) tried with little success to copy the Donald trump apprenctise show but the whole thing is a joke! Look I like the Idea,copied or not it is not properly executed but all that said it is best reality show done by Nigerians in my opininon.

My Neighbour's daughter.
Miracle worker spoke with her dad again on Sunday, he listened but I guess the dude is a scared of his wife,whom as not answered to any of my greetings recently and has threatened to show the lil girl pepper that will be more than beating!

I am the little girl's friend not confidant yet but friend.
I ask for prayers and support to go through this.

Have a good weekend.