Monday, February 19, 2007

I am Female




I am Female.

I am female,being born into the world is a dilemma,no matter what part of world I fall in.

In some conutries once my mother hears my feminine heart beat from the scan,
She aborts me, I am not worthy to live {so they have told her}
In some parts I am allowed to live,but only for a few days and then I am killed.

In some places,I am kept like a bad secret,treated with no dignity.
I must never speak,seldom be seen,never loved. I am accesory, a slave.

If I am lucky,in some places,my family might love,teach me,send me to school,I may never be restrained.
I am one of the lucky few in over a million who'll never be that lucky.

In some places,I survive,I am sent to school,only to stopped half way because for me,books have no value. I am to be married to a man,the age of my grand father,I donot understand?!;but my playmates are still running in the sand.
I am not only to marry him,but I am to have his baby,where in my body do I carry his child?

In some places,I am already perceived as Promiscuous even before I can understand the word "Sex" {nobody ever explains it}part of me is chopped off,to keep me safe,faithful and happy.
How can happiness bring so much pain?

I am supposed to understand everything and ask nothing.
I am not expected to make valued judgement because I am female,not a human being.

When I talk about things that hurt and concern me,I am a feminist,too touchy,too opinionated,
I might never find a man to marry me,I am not submissive!

I don't mean to question my creator,but I think the very essence of my body is a sin.
No matter how well I clothe it,some are still tempted by it,even when they mutilate and molest me.
My body caused it.

If eventually,I am married to a good human being,all might sail well for me but if I'm "bought" at such a high cost,I am just an expensive living object. I can be hit many times without feeling,even if I feel it,I musn't show it,even if marks appear on my body I musn't mention it to anyone.

If our union has not a child,despite my many visits to the doctors and my king has not even taken a test once,I am to blame.
I must have killed all the babies God gave me and if I happened to be a virgin, I am a witch!

When I bear the children,sometimes I cannot choose when to stop bearing,even though my body is weak,
I must keep at it.
If I am unfortunate to bear some like me,I must keep at it til I find a son,to make the family proud and save me from shame.

Sometimes I can be anything I want to be.
Sometimes it only happens in my dreams.

I am female, I exist.

18 comments:

TaureanMinx said...

Touches on all the important issues. Nice one

londonnaijachic said...

All this feminine loving on you and temmy's blog is truly uplifting.nice one babes.

laspapi said...

is this a male-friendly site?

Vera Ezimora said...

Nice post, Omohemi. I'm blessed!!

Waffarian said...

Well done!

Anonymous said...

So well written Omohemi and sooo true.If you are a valued female wherever you are one of the lucky few. As a doctor who used to work in Lagos I've seen women hiss in the delivery room once their female child is born. Imagine being welcomed into this hard,cold world with a hiss from your own mother.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

This is a beautiful writeup... even more beautiful cos i live part of this everyday.. cos my father doesn't think i'm good enough just because i'm a girl... so i live everyday trying to prove him wrong. But that's my life and I accept it.. i just feel horrible for those who have it worse that I do(and there's millions of em)... HEre's to womanhood... we're much more than a vagina... a set of circumstances, our environment... in the words of maya angelou.. we're phenomenal women/phenomenally women.

Simply Gorgeous said...

I love your post, very uplifting. I love the last part when you say sometimes I can be anuything I want to be. Most male dominated societies put restrictions on females, and it so good to hear you say it. Lots of Love , Babe. By the way how are you feeling?

omohemi Benson said...

@all,
Thanks.

@Laspapi,
What do you mean?
My blog is not defined by gender o!
Everyone is welcome.

@Anon.
Wow!It is unimaginable!
Thanks for stopping by.

@OWNB,
Girl,you r a phenomenal woman,I am proud of u! You father does not know what he has,I hope he does before he dies.
You don't have to prove anything to him,just by being you are an excellent proof to the whole world.

@Simply gorgeous,
Thanks babe,I'm fine.

temmy tayo said...

Beautiful post and very true on the issues involved. I am glad to be a female.

LondonBuki said...

Well Written and So True...

Ubong Da said...

Do you wish to be a guy, worrying about early morning hardon, getting turned on at the sight of a lady in a skirt. Building up enough courage to chase a babe, Chasing her and being rejected.
Having to labour and work so hard to please her, while she spends your money without saying thank you, expecting you to cater for all her whims. You get confused when she is one of those her moods wondering if you did something meanwhile when you ask she says nothing eh.

Jaycee said...

*sighs* wow, however simple this was...I was breathing heavily...cos errrrm...I AM A FEMALE! :)

Jola Naibi said...

***Can you send me an email? I don't have your email address for some reason***

confusednaijagirl said...

very very well written. Good job girl.

Anonymous said...

well written. after this i wonder more of us women don't align ourselves with feminism or at least the things feminism represent or try to eradicate and your write up speaks directly to a feminist project

Dolly

bhola said...

I have been looking for a topic for my speech, due to tomorrow. Thanks for the idea. If it is alright, can I use some of your words?

Thanks, in advance.

I am a female and I am proud to be one. Could not have asked for a better gender!

Favoured Girl said...

Very well written post girl! It touched on many of the issues that have been going on in my mind. Why is it that in many many cultures around the world, women are suppressed and undervalued? And if we try to fight for our rights, we are labelled as troublesome. Only the Creator who made us really knows our worth, and hears the cries of our hearts. I can't change who I am, I am FEMALE! Thank you for this post.