Wednesday, January 31, 2007

No Trains stations in Lagos

If you reside in Lagos,or have ever visited Lagos, you know that there are no train stations like you have in most parts of the world. { NO! Our railways don't count has the trains,should we call them trains? pass these rails once a week! and the rail ways are used as marketing rails,visit Tejuosho to get a better understanding!]

So we are left to commute with Okada{ Motorcycles}, Molue{ The big yellow buses aka 99 standing 33 sitting}, Danfo {small yellow buses},the taxis{our own no get meter o} and keke Napep/Maruwa{the tricycle}.
He who commute via any of the above named modes of transport will understand that life is not easy for the Lagos commuter.

From the inexperienced "Aboki"{ Hausa man} Okada rider dangerously maneuvering his way on the expressway without an helmet,to the ogogoro{ Local gin} drunk molue& danfo driver,the Lagos commuter is sadly on his own o!

I fortunately,or unfortunately, am a regular commuter with the danfo buses.
You see,before you can commute with the danfo bus,you must acquire some skills and understand some things.
1 Recite has a mantra always, All drivers in Lagos are MAD!

2. You will require running& walking abilities,either to run after the bus,chase a conductor or run away from an oncoming bus or just walk in the traffic.
{If you know you are not strong enough, I suggest you see your chemist,doctor,pharmacist,"alagbo" or herbalist to recommend some sort of blood capsule or whatever alternative works for you.}

3. You must possess Lagos sense and must not speak too much English.

4. You must have a good voice and great haggling skill. { This required when you will need to demand your change from the conductor or when you may need to politely insult him}

You see once you grasp the above,Life as a Lagos comuter becomes less diffcult.
Aaah,one more thing,you must be spiritual too,ability to say short and fast prayers is required.

But there are times that the commuters have fun in whatever mode of transport they choose.

The Molue 911

This is the largest means of transport,sometimes the fastest means of transport.
The Molue is Nigerian version of the double decker bus in London for all yea,that know the original name please fill in the gap.......... but with different types on graffti and stickers on it.
The Molue bus was even recognised by the late legend "Abami eda" Fela Anikulapokuti, "suffering and smiling,99 standing 33 sitting" It can contain has much has 100 people at a time.
It normally has its own pharmacy, church,supermarket and news.
Most of the people that use the Molue are traders. It is cheap.

The Danfo
Smaller version of the molue,but without the pharmacy and supermarket.
The driver of the Danfo is often times,drunk,young,High on Marijuna, fuji fan,Yoruba and drunk. They have no regard whatsoever for their lives,passengers or traffic rules.
They have some regard though for traffic officials,agberos and the police.
Their fares are higher than the molues and the drivers are regarded as pilots.

The Taxi
This are mainly for tush people who have not bought their cars and have a lil extra cash, or for those whose cars have a problem. Taxi's are driven my middle aged or old man,mostly Yoruba too,who have different philospies on all issues in country and about life in general.
There are no meters or A/Cs in these taxis,so prices are determined by the negoitating skill of the passenger.

The Okada
You take this at your own risk!
This mode of transport is used usually in case of an emergency, or when commuter has never visited a certain area or buses donot reach commuter's destination. Most of these riders are inexperienced,sturrborn.

I shall share my personal experience on each mode of transport soon.


Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

lmao... i love this

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

can't wait to come back to naija and experience it all over again

londonnaijachic said...

nice post! Emmm, am scared of those okadas oh and i have never taken one before but i heard they have the okada ward in orthopedic hospital.we had a bad experience once when the driver hit an okada guy and like 50 okadas surrounded our car.We didn't get out of it until like 90 mins later

Vera Ezimora said...

I'd rather be sandwiched between two sweaty, fat guys than take an okada. It absolutely frightens me!

angie said...

nice post!!
I think i fear those molue buses more, have u seen the way they look like pieces of metals were hurriedly welded together? and they shake with each movement...note they have no breaks!!!!

Omohemi Benson said...

Are you sure you are ready for this experience?

Okada palava,for this our country naija,na anoda stori o!
Make we leaf am for today.

LOL! Really it is not that bad.

Yes,I totally agree, I call them rattle boxes. The have break it is just that breaks are very slow to respond.

Thanks for stopping by.

boorish male said...

Welcome to blogsville sweetheart!!!!!!!

omohemi Benson said...

Thanks boor.

NaijaBloke said...

Lovely post here Omohemi...mehn I remember I used to enter the molue just for trips then ... it always look like another world to me.I even take it when am not going anywhere,just like the same way when I discovered the life in Lagos Island...LOL

Thx jere for letting me know abt the Vera Issue.All the guys are just trying ni jere,they cant do anything.

Shussshhh"No tell anybody o,na me and Vera plan to defraud the 2 guys,na ebay we go sell all the gifts wey dem dey deliver"..LOL

Am fine here dear,work has been kicking my butt big time but I thank God.

Hope u r aiight too.

omohemi Benson said...

Really? I feel u with Molue thing,the 1st time I entered a molue,I was so excited but don't take anymore though.

Vera's Issue,
You think so? aah,bros think again,
Have u seen the ring? The car?
The open proposal?

Vera,might back down on the deal o! lol
It is good to know that you r good.
I'm great.Thanks for asking.

Shola said...

my fellow danfo commuter, thanks for the survival tips.

aluta continua , victory very certain - at least till we join the club of the car owners.

but really they are very frustrating and inhumane, atimes you hiss and curse all the way.

God save Nigeria!

confusednaijagirl said...

i cant wait ohhh!!!! hilarious!!

milkan05 said...

Who needs an amusement park when u can get the thrill of ur life on an okada?
Omo, but seriously, Okada is the nearest we have to time travel in this part of the world and the dangerous maneuvers are just killing!! Reminds me of em movie clips.
We should put what we have to use. I mean who need stunt riders for our home videos when we have dem all over d street of lagos. Just get ur camera ready and go to any of the okada hotspots.
So abeg make una leave ma okada folks alone o!!

omohemi Benson said...

lol... survival tips.

Victory is certain oh,my sista,because we must buy our own oye pumping motor this year.
Do I hear a loud,AMEN!!

God bless Nigeria.

All yeah overseas babes wey body dey shook come back naija to enter molue,I no evny u o!
I don talk my own.

OmoIbadan said...

We dont need train stations in naija, they are for the weak and faint hearted, anywhere u feel like jumping down is your train station, it only depends on how athletic you are...grab? I remember back in naija, Tejuosho was like Lagos own Victoria station, with peeps jumping down from every available hole on the meery old train, the train driver knows he doesnt have to stop, if he does he will be accused of manslaughter...I love my country walahi..

omohemi Benson said...

Tru talk my broda,
But erm*clearing throat* I no want be source of entertainment on any okada o!

Go tell them for Nollywood whether dem go answer you. lol!

omohemi Benson said...

Lol! you ehn and all your analogies.

I love naija,I no go lie! lol.

OmoIbadan said...

U wan na correct Omo Yibo gangan iz it going down at your end this friday....I am definitely showin up good for these oyinbo gurls tonight....kosiya weere..:)

Jola Naibi said...

This had me howling with laughter as I remembered my experiences in Lagos...using all of the modes of transport that you mention from getting my bag stolen in a taxi to being in collision with a pedestrian while on an okada. The okada driver told me that the woman was a 'winch' and just appeared in front of him...thankfully no one was hurt and I paid the guy and walked the rest of the way to my destination vowing never to get on an okada again in my life. Of course that was a pretty shortlived vow!

Tayo said...

Hey, I'm loving this... and my first time here too. I've always wanted to do something on Lagos transport but never got round to it.
Did you say politely insult the conductor? I think you're being too much of a lady. You harass the guy to give you your change ASAP! lol ... You forgot to add bookshop to the molue. All those who want to sell you "100 mistakes in English", "Map of the world", "Nigerian History" ... etc. lol I'll be back to read the rest