Showing posts with label commuting in Lagos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label commuting in Lagos. Show all posts

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Adventures of a Lagos commuter 3




If you commute regularly in Lagos, you'll meet different people, from the ordinary reserved commuter to the really crazy one.
I have a categorized a few,that you might identify on your next trip.

The Activist: This is the commuter who champions the course of other commuters, ranging from exorbitant fares to indiscrimate abuse by the bus conductors, amongst other things. He is bold, loud mouthed and often times wins the course.
Personal experience: My sister and I were returning from the market one evening,the fare was N30,when the bus was filled with passengers and we about to leave, the conductor annouced that the fare was N50. There was no reason given, the bus that had left just before ours collected N30, but the conductor and the driver insisted on collecting N50.
Some passengers grumbled, some were indifferent, some were cursing the driver, who was already ordering those who could not pay the fare to get off the bus, but alas there was this young woman, in the bus, the activist. She calmed everyone in the bus,raising her voice steadily, she insisted that we must not pay the N50 fare, asking us all to remain in the bus and coperate. She said her house rent had just been increased no explainations, her light bill had just been increased no explainations but her salary has remained the same for 7 years, no explainations!, she went on how we just allow things without fighting or asking.
To cut a long story short, we were all seated in the bus for an hour, no body got off and eventually our action paid off, we paid the regular N30 fare.


The preacher: this is the commuter, who propagates the gospel of Christ in the bus. They may or maynot have a bible at hand, but they quote scriptures well. A few of them are very good, very good meaning; good diction, good dressing, subtle approach and most of them are purely the opposite. A few of them ask for offering after preaching.





Jonah: (remember the biblical story of the lad, who slept in the belly of the whale?).
This is the commuter, who sleeps from the beginning of the trip to the end of the trip,often missing his busstop, sometimes the sleeping commuter might even snore!


The analyst: This is the commuter who ananlyses the political and economical situation of the country, citing unverified statistics and stories, often criticising or comending the government of the day.


The Salesman: This is the commuter who sells strong conviction that his product is the best in the whole world. From booklets, medicine to snacks , name it, the sales man has got it.


The Iya Olomo - This is the commuter, who has more than two children with him/her, often times,this commuter is usually a woman who is pregnant, has a baby strapped to her back and has like four or more children with her. When Iya olomo gets on the bus, she tries with (of course) no success to carry all her four children on her laps until any commuter offers to help her with one or two of the children. When she is getting off the bus it is another drama, the conductor will have to warn the driver "oloyun o pomo o!,o gbomo dani, o mu omo lowo,o leru leyin" (transl: Please wait patiently for this one, she's pregnant, she has a child strapped to her back, she carrying one on her shoulder, holding another and she's got lugage in the boot!)

Staff: this is the commuter who refuses to pay the fare, claiming to be a staff, this commuter is usually a police officer,a soldier or one of the touts aka agbero the motorpark. Sometimes, some smart guys use this moves too, claiming to know the driver from childhood,neighbourhood, or he is the chairman of the boys or some other silly idea that comes up in his head.
If the smart guy is lucky the driver and conductor may let him be but if not they may order him to get off the bus or beat him silly!
Personal Experience: A uniformed man, who was neithera police oficer,naval officer or soldiers, got on the bus one nice friday evening, feeling all fly,when the conductor asked him for money he proudly answered "staff!" the conductor, looked at him and laughed(I remember vividly that conductor's dentition, it was ugly!) and answered"staff ti bo?" transl: staff from where? The man couldnot answer,the conductor had a fun day beating the guy, it wasn't funny at all!

The Mercy passenger: this is the commuter who never has enough money to pay for the fare but boards the bus all the same, hoping that the conductor will look on him/she with mercy or some other commuter will look with upon mercy, and add to the fare or plead with conductor.

Iya Oloja- This is commuter is a regular on the yellow buses, especially the Molue.
They are very cautious with their bags and goods. They haggle alot with the conductor over the bus fares and the fares they have to have to pay for their goods in the bus.
Personal experience: An iya oloja was sitting beside me in a danfo, then the conductor asked for her fare,she brought money from the leftside of her bra, counted it and put it back, brought out money fromthe right side of her bra, counted it and put it back, brought out money from the pouch market woman usually carry, counted it and put it back, finally she brought out money from her purse and paid the conductor!

The eccentric: As the name suggests, this is really eccentric commuter, who is full of drama.
(s)he could either been talking to herself through out the bus ride, or pick on another passenger or conductor sometimes even driver and insult them through out the ride. Pray never to be sitted beside one.

The reserved: This is the quiet easy going commuter, who tries as much as possible to avoid trouble with the conductor and fellow passengers, you will hardly ever hear his/her voice in the bus. They come in quitely and get off quietly.

Know any other kind of commuter, please share.

If you missed the POST that lead to the Adventures 1 and 2 read up!




















Monday, April 23, 2007

Adventures of a Lagos commuter 2


On my way home from work one evening, I boarded a danfo bus,we were just 5 minutes into the journey when the youngman sitting beside me yelled "iso re, oti ba furo mi je!" (transl: a nail, a nail is up in my bottom)
I couldn't help it,I burst into laughter. He turns to me and says "Aunty mi o sere o!e fi owo si ori seat naa ke wo iso naa"(Transl: Aunty am not joking, please feel the seat for the nail), I try to stiffle my laughter and feel the nail, spreading my palm over the seat,I feel the 2" nail on the seat. I confirm to other laughing commuters"Iso wa nibe ni toto"(Transl: there is really a nail there).

" E pele" (transl: sorry),I greet the young man, who carefully sits back on the seat. He is in pain and declares to the conductor,"I am not paying anything!" The foolish conductor,complicates the issue and answers " aah,aah oga, ko si iso be lati aro"(Transl: there was no nail on that seat since morning!") everyone burst into laughter again,the youngman became furious "Kilo mean?" (transl: what do you mean?) "se idi mi ni iso ti jade ni?"(did the nail come out of my bottom?).

Everyone at the bus, started scolding and insulting the conductor,the conductor later apologised to the young man,"e ma binu sugbon ema lati san owo"(transl: please donot be angry,but you'll have to pay). "lai lai" (never) "se nitoripe idi mi oti bere si se eje" (is it because my buttom hasn't started bleeding") at this point, the driver had to intervene, he asked the young man not to pay.

The conductor started grumbling,but didnot utter a word to the man.

"olosi,fe gba owo,50 naira ko ran idi ka nipe iso ti ba furo mi je" he hissed ( foolish man, wants to collect money, what if the nail had ruined my bottom will 50 naira repair it! (50 was the bus fare). Eventually, the bus became quiet and we continued our journey peacefully.



Monday, April 2, 2007

Adventures of a lagos commuter 1

I promised to share my commuting experiences, in this POST about commuting in Lagos.

I've had many so I'll share the most memorable.

Memorable Molue experience
On my way to GCE centre,which was very far from my house, the car broke down.
We(myself&the driver)had no option but to take public transport. I had only my lunch money with me,the driver had little money on him,so we opted for the cheapest means of transport the Molue.

The molues donot wait for passengers,you have to run and jump in,after two failed attempts at chasing after a molue and not getting in, I started sobbing like a baby, I was going to be late for my exam and I couldn't even get on the damn bus that old women were jumping in,without any fuss. Uncle John(my dad's driver) consoled me and taught me how to "jump in".
He said once I got rid of the fear of falling and reached for his hand or the conductor,I will get in.
Successfully,at the 3rd attempt I did.
In the bus,I remember a middle age man selling drugs and coughing very hard, he displayed drugs of different colors for all kinds of ailments. I remember wondering why he couldn't get a color for his cough.
I got to my centre late,but was allowed in to write the exam.
On our way back, we took another Molue,it was around 7pm and there was a heavy traffic jam.
Sitting behind me were 2 calabar women,chattering away in their native dialect.
Eventually the traffic stood still,even I, who was sitted by window couldnot feel the breeze but to make matters worse in the bus someone farted.
The kind of fart,that quietly hovers around in pungent pride.
Suddenly silence fell upon the bus,one of the calabar woman behind me annouced "wetin the smrell"( in heavy calabar accent), "ehen" someone answers from the front of the bus,"I don dey smell am since", the calabar woman responds "dey pessin for excuse,comot, go mess, den come back,aah,aah!". Passengers started hissing,swearing and fanning themselves.
In mist of all the chaos,the traffic started moving but unfortunately the bus would not start.
Everyone directed their anger towards the driver,"Foolish man!" the calabar woman started,"maybe na him mess sef!" "Oloshi" transl: foolish man, "when you know sey your moto no good why you con off am?" "Wicked man"
"Wey in conductor sef?", the 2 conductors had gotten off the bus and joined the crowd of people trekking. It was until I got home and was recounting the story,that I started laughing.


Will share my memorable danfodrama and Okada ride soon.