pictures from the road

1. Tejuosho market, demolished
2. some building in falomo,taking from Obalende side of 3rd mainland bridge
3. Some danfo talk

4 Falomo shopping complex
5. A shop on awolowo road,Ikoyi, with danfo art
5. Obalende bus park, view from 3rd mainland bridge.

All pictures are© of Omohemi.

Where I have been?

I wish I could answer and say,
I have been to London to see the Queen, but on the contrary, I have been in Las gidi.
Where I have been?
I have been in out of my mind,
wondering, praying, asking questions, going crazy, returning sane.
Where I have I been?
I have mad busy and a bit lazy.

Recently, in Lagos traffic has been crazy(I know this is norm) but now it is like mad crazy,
The work on Ikorodu road on BRT lane, the construction of road in Yaba, the collapse of the bridge in Ikorodu, its like all hell has been let loose on our all mad traffic, it really a sun kere fa kere situation. The transport system of Lagos needs a total over haul.
It is not just about providing more buses on the road because at this rate now, I think I am going to be needing chopper rides across town.
It is about everything, the road networks, the roads (gosh! most of the roads in Lagos are BAD!),
the traffic officials,the yellow buses(yeah that's me!) the heavy duty trucks and tankers, the OKADA RIDERS! and the private car owners and commuters, everyone and everything.

Where do we begin? Is it from the every increasing accidents on the road?
Can't heavy duty vehicles be banned during the day? Can't their restriction be limited to a certain time, maybe like from 11pm - 6am? Do we have to move all goods by roads? Can't one of big boys buy the whole rail line and monopolize it? (Economist and those that have a say in the matter, please help here) Why do the foolish trucks drivers double park on express?

If Okada is banned? what will be alternative means of transport within short distances?
Are the riders trained? NO! Isn't there a way the riders can be scrutinized?

Why do some private car owners, who are considered the sanest on the madness chain of Lagos road users still drive on one way? Why do commuters cross the express when there is a pedestrian bridge very close by and it is not very late?

Why are accident vehicles left on the road a month or two after the incident?
Is it only me that is appalled by the unnecessary traffic and madness?
At the rate at which, we are going, won't we need mobile toilets in traffic, mobile restaurants and even mobile showers?
The beggars and destitutes on the road have become an eye sore.
Will the traffic lights and street lights ever work? (foolish question! I know)
I am just fed up with it all really.
What can I do? What can we do?

So this is where I have been,
In the centre of Excellence, with our posh vehicles on dirty roads,
sitting and seething in traffic forever, with the fear of being robbed.
With our "big" attitudes, plenty grammar, no action, no concern and increasing madness.
Who will save us?

By way, where have most of my neighbours gone? Fine boy, Alaye, Vera, Blacktinkerbell and sparkle?
Or is it me that has been gone too long?
Confused and Tminx, I miss you babes.

Dear Rain

Today,I remember the nusery rhyme,

Rain,rain,go away,
Come again another day,
little johnny wants to play

Today, I beg to change the rhyme a little and plead with the rain,

Rain, Rain,Go away,
Go and fall in another state,
Lagos has no need for rain.

Dear Rain,
I need not ask how you are feeling today,
I see your wet foot marks all over my front door, my green lawn and the flooded streets.

I know it is your season, your time to shine sorry your time to drench all in your way,
I understand but I cannot fully say I appreciate.
Please rain, let me explain.

You see I work and live in Lagos, where half the routes, are filled with holes; No! not the kind of hole in my old sock, but large potholes,as some are as big as Iya basirat's large cooking pot aka Ikoko and the deep enough to make a human grave.

Even though this not your fault,that these holes exist, and I by no means blame you for this but rain don't you see,when you fill up the pots,the already bad traffic becomes worse,most of our cars and buses are swallowed up.
The filthy blocked drainage bobs up into the street,the putrid smell is more than I can bear.
It is not only the smell thats my problem but the water that flows into our apartments in Shomolu and Aguda. Every time you pour, dear rain,I have to roll up my sleeves and swim to the busstop.

I love the soothing cool feeling, I get when you pour at midnight while I snore, but when am awake, I fret, hoping your winds and thunder has not ruined the electric pole on my street,there's rarely light though but you'll give the authorities a perfect excuse.
Dear Rain, this is Lagos not Benue, or some other farming states, you can take some of Lagos rain and pour it in the farms of those that need it but not here,even if you must just small showers not heavy down pour. Please!

I have come to plead with you,dear rain, hoping that you'll look the other way since I've spelt out my pains and you'll see reason with me.
I write to you because you will listen to my plea unlike my rulers who donot see, care or listen. Their jeeps cannot sink into the holes, their homes are always fully lit and though some live by the sea, the floods donot torture their buildings like it tortures mine.
I have other selfish reasons why I don't want the heavy down pour but I will not state them at all and stick to this for now.
Thank you for understanding.

Love,
Omohemi,
A lagos dweller.

No Trains stations in Lagos

If you reside in Lagos,or have ever visited Lagos, you know that there are no train stations like you have in most parts of the world. { NO! Our railways don't count has the trains,should we call them trains? pass these rails once a week! and the rail ways are used as marketing rails,visit Tejuosho to get a better understanding!]

So we are left to commute with Okada{ Motorcycles}, Molue{ The big yellow buses aka 99 standing 33 sitting}, Danfo {small yellow buses},the taxis{our own no get meter o} and keke Napep/Maruwa{the tricycle}.
He who commute via any of the above named modes of transport will understand that life is not easy for the Lagos commuter.

From the inexperienced "Aboki"{ Hausa man} Okada rider dangerously maneuvering his way on the expressway without an helmet,to the ogogoro{ Local gin} drunk molue& danfo driver,the Lagos commuter is sadly on his own o!

I fortunately,or unfortunately, am a regular commuter with the danfo buses.
You see,before you can commute with the danfo bus,you must acquire some skills and understand some things.
1 Recite has a mantra always, All drivers in Lagos are MAD!

2. You will require running& walking abilities,either to run after the bus,chase a conductor or run away from an oncoming bus or just walk in the traffic.
{If you know you are not strong enough, I suggest you see your chemist,doctor,pharmacist,"alagbo" or herbalist to recommend some sort of blood capsule or whatever alternative works for you.}

3. You must possess Lagos sense and must not speak too much English.

4. You must have a good voice and great haggling skill. { This required when you will need to demand your change from the conductor or when you may need to politely insult him}

You see once you grasp the above,Life as a Lagos comuter becomes less diffcult.
Aaah,one more thing,you must be spiritual too,ability to say short and fast prayers is required.

But there are times that the commuters have fun in whatever mode of transport they choose.

The Molue 911

This is the largest means of transport,sometimes the fastest means of transport.
The Molue is Nigerian version of the double decker bus in London for all yea,that know the original name please fill in the gap.......... but with different types on graffti and stickers on it.
The Molue bus was even recognised by the late legend "Abami eda" Fela Anikulapokuti, "suffering and smiling,99 standing 33 sitting" It can contain has much has 100 people at a time.
It normally has its own pharmacy, church,supermarket and news.
Most of the people that use the Molue are traders. It is cheap.

The Danfo
Smaller version of the molue,but without the pharmacy and supermarket.
The driver of the Danfo is often times,drunk,young,High on Marijuna, fuji fan,Yoruba and drunk. They have no regard whatsoever for their lives,passengers or traffic rules.
They have some regard though for traffic officials,agberos and the police.
Their fares are higher than the molues and the drivers are regarded as pilots.

The Taxi
This are mainly for tush people who have not bought their cars and have a lil extra cash, or for those whose cars have a problem. Taxi's are driven my middle aged or old man,mostly Yoruba too,who have different philospies on all issues in country and about life in general.
There are no meters or A/Cs in these taxis,so prices are determined by the negoitating skill of the passenger.

The Okada
You take this at your own risk!
This mode of transport is used usually in case of an emergency, or when commuter has never visited a certain area or buses donot reach commuter's destination. Most of these riders are inexperienced,sturrborn.

I shall share my personal experience on each mode of transport soon.