High Heels... High Hell!

Bata mi a dun ko, ko, ka!

Smart, sexy and stylish... Some of what extra inches give a lady, when she puts on her stilettos... but dare I say, I am one of those women high heels don't give high jinks!!! High heels are pretty, the different designs and color they come in are just alluring, flat shoes on the other hand are just plain boring beside highs (Picture cinderlla with all her magic, beside her two ugly step sisters) but why do they cause my heels, my thighs and calves so much pain? I used to be a tomboy, so sneakers and flats have always been appealing to me (and still are), until recently, when I started blooming into this fab chic. I decided to add some " (i.e. inches if you were wondering) to my heels, to get the feel to High action I have been missing. I start small, with a beautiful gold slipper of about 5cm, it was not so bad!

• I could walk in it
  

I could walk briskly in it

I could think in it

I could think while walked in it.

I could smile in it.

I acquired more 5cm heels, for work mostly (block heels), as well as some for church and fun outings. So high heels were not such a big deal until... a girlfriend raised the bar on my behalf with a few more inches in a lovely pair of pink Ceseare Paciotti shoes she gave me as a gift. This gift made me High, and I admired them in mirror, practising how to walk in them around my house...and everywhere to be honest.I couldnt wait to launch them officially and finally a grand opening presented it self............. A Wedding!!!!!!!!!!
I made sure my outfit had a touch of pink to match my Pink Paciottis. I was so excited about the (my) prospects. On my way to the wedding, I wrapped my pink paciottis in its bag and just before I alighted from the cabbie, I put on my Pink Paciottis-What a feeling!

It felt oh so good...the heels were comfortable. I was on a major High, as the few extra inches added to my 5"8 frame. I walked carefully, like a lady not in my usual smaja soilder style trying to avoid slipping on the freshly polished floors. My teeth (and especially my pride are valuable you see..) I had to be extra careful skirting the ditches with grace and hopping daintily over drainage slabs so that my heels did not get caught up in one of the openings. In those heels, I had to think very quickly before I took a single step.

Fast forward >>> to 2weeks ago.

An Owambe party in the offing. I just had to purchase a pair of sliver sleek high sandals!!! Gorgeous wonders!
Owambe day. 9am in the morning, I am high in Sliver, smiling and *shimmering * bound to be a splendid day!!! 2pm: I am still parading myself in sleek sliver, walking briskly, squatting and dancing, not some Englishman 1, 2 step dance but serious bend your waist, shake your booty, get down kind of dance. I was boogying in sliver...until one hour later. Without much warning, my legs began to wobble.
Wetin do my leg? I don chop ke! I ignored it and continue the boogie, but soon I couldn't ignore it, I began to wobble too. Quick, quick! I hurried to the nearest a seat to rest my poor feet for a few minutes...Or maybe a little more than a few-20 minutes to be exact! I rose to continue the boogie but my wobbling legs refused.
Somebody- anybody should have warned me! I searched for rescue, my flip flops were not anywhere near, infact I forgot them at home! Who could possibly save me? Finally after wobbling round the hall a bit, I finally found rescue in a blessed woman sent from Heaven above who had an extra pair of slip ons. Next morning... I wake in up in absolutely painful (Peyn) Pain! From my waist down to my ankles, fire! But it always looked easy seeing Beyonce dem do it on TV, infact I saw Beyonce, boogy live on stage in some bad killer heels when she came to naija, last October and she did not feel any pain or show any form of pain, she was having fun! But see me, I could barely walk.

After this experience you will think, never again! Na lie! yesterday morning in church, I danced well during praise& worship, only for the wobbling to begin again, I sat down swiftly and jejely. High Heel cannot come and kobalize me in church. Over my sexy body. I did not stand up again until after service. At the end, I walked out majestically. The wobbling had ceased but I had to walk from the church to the car park (came in a friend's car), which was a good 7mins walk on a very (very) bad (naija style-bad) road. It was not funny o! My friends were having such fun at my expense, laughing as I walked like there were land mines on the street. I didn’t care too much about walking like a lady, I was more concerned about keeping my balance and making it in one piece to that car!!I succeeded and immediately changed into my slippers- BLISS!!

High heels are fashionable. But I still can't work- walk around them...and the pain they eventually cause me?? Well I have High hopes that one day, I shall get through my phobia for pain, chance the consequences and just look fashionable jare.... until then however, it's me and my small inches and flat shoes all the way- God bless the manufacturers!