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Feeling queasy,

Knock! Knock!

I’m tired, I’m dizzy.

Its me mummy

Who? You? Who you?

Its only me mummy.

Welcome honey,

Are you comfortable honey?

Mummy, what is this?

Don’t tickle it!

It makes me sick.

Don’t kick that!

Its my abdomen you are hurting!!

Don’t touch this,its bloody,

Its dripping and mummy is spotting.

Where are you?

Am here, mummy.

Where?

At the door.

Its not yet morning sweety.

Don’t worry I can see.

Why are you in a hurry,

Just wait a little while, it will soon be nine.

I want to leave with the cover of the night,

Mummy am not ready.

But I am, I am ready for both of us.

No, mummy,

One cannot be ready for the other.

We must come together.

Are you angry?

Please don’t!

Wait!

Please let me.

In the vein: Fortwin

In the muscle: 'subutamol'

Take my hand, please

Am slipping, let me.

It is the end of the road.

Drip, drop ,drip,drop

Comes the Oxytocin.

There is a quake in my soul,

Then comes the rain,

It is pouring outside my window,

The warm drops touch my pillow.

The floods caress my inside

and slide down my thighs.

All I remember is his fisted palms

In the pan.

happy to be here

Am I back blogging?
I don't know, and i'll make no promises,
but I am happy to be here.
I am savouring this moment and glad that I have an opportunity
to write my thoughts. share my views, learn and meet people.

So don't ask me if I am back,
I am just glad to be here.

an update

I have been procrastinating updating my blog, for a long while now, but I just read temmy tayo's blog and the lady with a baby updated so whats my excuse? huh?
Alot and not too much has happened in the past months,
but it in all mostly importantly, I am here.

I am alive, happy, hopeful, full of dreams and learning.

It is the season when some of us think of all things we had planned for the year, how much we have achieved, we think of family, the good ones, the great ones and not so great ones,Love, Christmas & sharing.
The friends that loved us, the friends that held up when we needed them the most, the hurts, friendship gone sour, the ones which are still solid, the fresh budding ones,the surprises,the ones that are yet to come. The life I lived in 2008, and almost lost but was given back to me with a fresh perspective.

In all am thankful and trust I'll do it better, harder and more truthfully next year, including trying to write my own book, but that I know already is alot of work, but I'll get through it one page at a time.

so Happy holidays and a splendid new year.
I'll keep checking up on your blogs, don't know if its my server or blogger can't leave comments though.

later

Merry Christmas people

The return of O

I miss blogsville,
thank for the sweet people that checked up on me,
loving Bella's Nu webiste,
checking up on all my favorite blogs,

I'l be returning soon.

Aphrodite

Reading another book, Aphrodite by Isabel Allende.
Funny and sensual.

here some excerpts from the book

Love - " When love exists nothing else matters, not life predicaments, not the fury of the years, not a physical winding down or scarcity of opportunity;lovers will find a way to love each other, by definition it is their fate.But love,like luck, comes unbidden,thrusts us into a state of confusion, and burns off like fog when we attempt to hold on to it. As to the reliability of love as a stimulus, therefore,it becomes the luxury of the fortunate few,unattainable for those who have not been the target of its arrow.''


The Playa - "His Obsession is like that of the compulsive eaters, who gulp their food without tasting or those who drink to excess without ever discoveribng the mystery of the grape;like people who accumulate money and belongings with insatiable thirst and never experience plenitude."

so back to my book.

Warning: No harrasing whilst,I am way, promise I'll try to update soon.
ps. this is personal note to Vera.

me talk pretty -

I just finished reading this book,awesome sense of humour!
loved it, every single page, at first when I opened it, I was not too amused but eventually was laughing with tears. Beg, steal, borrow or buy! this book.

Congratulations to fellow blogger temmytayo on the arrival of her beautiful bundle of Joy!

Mugabe toons

Small small gist

First I will start by announcing that today is Miracle worker's birthday,
I am grateful to God for her,
Her Love, Her wisdom, her advice, her mother's instinct,
her prayers, her all.

Thank You God for giving me a great mother.

The Rain
The rainy season is here and I have been drenched twice and so I officially hate the season,
except of course when I am indoors and warm.
The rainy season in Lagos, means more traffic, the effects of the poor drainage on the roads fall upon us, every where is flooded and messy.

All I can say is Rain! Rain! go away!
Go away from Lagos state!
and if you have to rain, do not be too heavy and please time your self,15-30mins
is fine, you don't have to rain for like and hour and half!


2 weeks ago, I had to do some last minute shopping, so I ran into a boutique
to buy a few things, met some girls at the shop,we greeted each other and when they were choosing stuff, they asked for my opinion and I gladly offered. I paid for my stuff and was off in a huff(rhyme not intentional) and then one of girls ran after me, " Excuse me" she said
and I turned around thinking I had forgotten something in the shop and she had brought it to me.
" The things you bought are very nice"
"Thank you",I replied and wondered if that was why she ran after me to say,
"Theres a party at Ikoyi tomorrow and I want to invite you."
Ok, at this point am wondering.... what? why?
"I am sorry am not interested I replied and started walking away.
"It will be fun, my name madalla, and am a student of Unilag, there is this
woman coming from London and she hosting a party, blah, blah....
I was wondering was there something about me that made her think I would be interested in such parties, or is this how the invite people randomly to these parties and do people just agree? (Forgive me I am naive).
I declined but she kept trying to convince me, egbami ke! asking for my phone number and offering me hers. I walked away, but was surprised at the experience.
Na so dem dey recruit chicks for Lagos?
There a lot of deeper questions to be asked, but not today.
*madalla -Fictitious name.

Dreams come true.
Be careful what you wish for because you might just get it.
I have been going on about wanting to read Sidney Poitier - Measure of a man
well, I looked for it in a few shops around Lagos and couldn't find it,
I finally heard it was available in Numetro store, but before I could get it, it was out of stock,
so fast forward to last month, a sweet blogger, who has become like my big sister,
came into town and brought me a gift and yes, it was the book!
I was grinning from ear to ear, like a happy child.
Thanks Jola.
Then another friend of my sister bought me another book from Muhammad Yunus- author Banker to the poor, an autographed copy. Goodness, I am sooo happy.
so next up I want a Nikon D... whatever the latest is, Camera.
and I know am going to get it. Amen!

Same thing from the course I just finished,
I wanted the do the course but couldn't afford it,
and just when I had given up, God brought in some sponsors,
who subsidized the fee and I paid up and thoroughly enjoyed the course,
though I missed some classesk and my course mates are just the best! great new friends
added to old friends of Gold.

so Vera, here is an update.. LOL.

6 Quirks

I have not done a meme in a bit,
so when I saw one on Overwhelmed blog,
I decided to tag myself and do it.

so here are my 6 quirks

1. When I am very angry,I burst into tears when I try to speak.

2. I love the art of cooking, but hate to spend long hours in the kitchen, as soon I am in kitchen for more than one hour, I am tired of the whole thing.

3. I cannot function properly without music, at home, cleaning, at work under pressure,I must listen to some form of music. Even when theres no light to charge my phone, I will run the battery flat when I need to listen music.

4. Sometimes I get into a "serious mood" or "moody mood" for no reason, and no it is not my period or PMS, sometimes.

5. I am insular about alot of stuff I shouldn't in .(I am sorting this quirk out slowly)


6. I love nicker underpants and lingerie, I can spend hours, just shopping for them.


so tell what are your quirks?

African Leaders

Picture from: members.telering.at/art4u/congo

I watched the last King of Scotland to the end, for the first time 2 days ago and I cried at the end.
I cried not because of what happened in the film but because of what is presently going in Africa,
you would think after the likes of Mobutu seseko and Idi amin, there would be no more but there is Mugabe now and Africa is silent.
What can we do? What should we do?

I really don't like the finger pointing about how the western countries support dictatorial regimes in Africa, but I am wondering as African why we allow it? Why we sit in silence after all the war, hardship, poverty, hunger, diseases and disasters we have gone and we are still going through.

I believe strongly that our leaders are reflection of who we are,yes we can shake our heads vigorously and say am not like that but I'll say wait till you are given a little power.
I worry about my continent and mostly about my country,Nigeria.

Yes, we are amazing people with great gifts, and I dare say we are the most creative Africans in the world, but look at us. In a few years down the line, what will we become?
I'll know some might say, try not to focus on our leaders(though I confess it is hard not to.) but what the people are doing, but if we don't have the right people making right choices for us, all our efforts may just not be worth it after a while.
Even with the simplest of things, corruption has eaten deep, parents look for ways to write common entrance exams for their primary school children/wards, the man driving against a one way traffic, to the state governor who had embezzled his state's funds and was allowed to travel out of the country during his trial.(Ok, I promise not to focus on the leaders) or the pastor who smiles sheepishly at the entrance of a politician into church.
Three of the most influential and important people,(Sunny Okosun,Yinka Craig and Gani Fawehimi) in Nigeria have cancer and we cannot boast of one hospital that can fully diagnose and treat them properly. They have to raise monies and fly abroad for treatment.

Do our leaders not see what we see? Do they not feel what we feel?
Why loot and build another man country and not put anything valuable in your home country?
Are they leaders or rulers?

I'll keep at my little quota and hope that one day, my little quota will connect with good little quotas across the nation and cause a ripple effect in Nigeria and hopefully Africa.
But right now all I can ask is which way Nigeria?

p.s. I am sorry if the piece seems disjointed, my emotions got in the way of writing.

random ranting

The rainy season is here again,
and I have a hate/love with the rains,
but its all good.

I feel like am living outside by body,
I wake up constantly in pains and not wanting to get out of bed.
Over the weekend though,I had a good rest and felt well,
but by Monday morning the "feeling" resumed.

I just finished a malaria dose, so I do not know what it could be.
Is it Lagos and its madness getting to me?

I am often distracted.

I feel like going on long long holiday, with a masseuse at my side, all day.
All I just want to do now is write, sleep,sing, watch movies, relax and read.

I don't know why, but I am worried by every piece of news,
especially news about Nigeria,
I know you'll say focus on the good, but there so much going on, its so hard to focus.
I worry about Zimbabwe'.

I worry about my weight,
Its rapid the way am gaining weight,
I am loving the new defined hips, butt and boobs,
but the bulging tummy and large arms, no! no!

I am glad things are sorting out,
I need to discipline my self about my finances,
I need to go shopping,
I need shoes, bags and new Sexy lingerie.
I need to get away,
I need space.

I love my mom,
I am growing to love and respect her mom every day,
though sometime her love can exasperating.

I miss my siblings,
wish I could see them everyday.

I hate the traffic,
I feel like dancing,
I feel like hosting a beach party,
I miss my baby.

I am feeling dizzy.
its about to rain,
am at work and cannot concentrate.
I have missed two classes at school this week,
I miss school and am angry.

I need to try and focus,
before boss lady shoots my brain,
but really I need a holiday.

I just needed to do this rant and hope I feel better.
Lord,this is a prayer, sort me out, now now!

Sex slave

The lovely month of April is running to an end,
I look forward to May.

A friend sent me the link to this story,

A 73-year-old Austrian man has confessed to imprisoning his daughter in a windowless cellar for 24 years and fathering her seven children.

A 42-year-old woman had told police on Sunday that her father, Josef Fritzl, lured her into the basement of the block where they lived in the town of Amstetten in 1984 and drugged and handcuffed her before imprisoning her.

"(Fritzl) has now said that he locked up his daughter for 24 years and that he alone fathered her seven children and that he locked them up in the cellar," Franz Polzer, head of the criminal investigations unit in the province of Lower Austria, said.

Read more HERE.

Thanks B.

It reminds me of YFZ ranch polygamy story in the US.

What is wrong with these men? what makes them so sick?

The man kept his own daughter in prson for 24 years???!

Kilode!

I'll try and see if I can get a full story about a similar story in Lagos, Nigeria.

Enjoy the rest of your week.

danfo driver

Here my video for the week,

need I explain why?

Banker to the poor

I just finished this book and it is inspiring, I could not drop it and could not help scribbling down notes.
I first saw on Oprah show, last year and then saw his book with a friend, got to read it last week, great book.

I enjoyed it, hope you will too.
too lazy to type synopsis right now, just google the book or Muhammad Yunus.

Adieu mama wa.

I have never met her or her daughter,
but from her daughter, I have felt her love, her strength, her courage and Nigerianess.

London Buki showed me her mother,
with her beauty, faith and love.
All her mommy posts have been inspiring,
I admire her.

It was with sadness today when I read her post about the passing away of her mother,
I do not have words to console or encourage at this moment,
But I know for sure God is with her.

When I die...

When I die
when my coffin
is being taken out
you must never think
i am missing this world

don't shed any tears
don't lament or
feel sorry
i'm not falling
into a monster's abyss

when you see
my corpse is being carried
don't cry for my leaving
i'm not leaving
i'm arriving at eternal love

when you leave me
in the grave
don't say goodbye
remember a grave is
only a curtain
for the paradise behind

you'll only see me
descending into a grave
now watch me rise
how can there be an end
when the sun sets or
the moon goes down

it looks like the end
it seems like a sunset
but in reality it is a dawn
when the grave locks you up
that is when your soul is freed

have you ever seen
a seed fallen to earth
not rise with a new life
why should you doubt the rise
of a seed named human

have you ever seen
a bucket lowered into a well
coming back empty
why lament for a soul
when it can come back
like Joseph from the well

when for the last time
you close your mouth
your words and soul
will belong to the world of
no place no time

~RUMI, ghazal number 911,
translated May 18, 1992,
by Nader Khalili. 

Adieu Mama wa.